- cross-posted to:
- [email protected]
- cross-posted to:
- [email protected]
I initially only installed “Comodo Firewall” but for some reason they also installed a “Comodo Dragon Browser”, which I did not consent to. I always choose the “advanced” installation to uncheck bloatware, but in this case there was none and when you try to uninstall the browser, they force you to participate in their survey otherwise you won’t be able to uninstall the software…
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Send them this: Comodo Dragon browser, where do I even begin? Strap in, because this is going to be a wild ride through the depths of disappointment and frustration.
Let’s start with the interface. Oh boy, where to even start? It’s like they took all the worst design elements from every other browser and threw them together in a blender without bothering to hit the “blend” button. Tabs are scattered haphazardly across the top of the window, buttons are strewn about like confetti at a clown convention, and don’t even get me started on the menu layout. It’s a maze of confusion that would make even the most seasoned navigators feel like they’re lost in the Bermuda Triangle.
But hey, maybe you can overlook the interface if the performance is decent, right? Wrong. Comodo Dragon moves at the speed of a snail stuck in molasses. Pages take ages to load, even on a high-speed connection, and once they finally do, good luck trying to scroll through them without feeling like you’re trying to push a boulder up a mountain. It’s enough to make you want to throw your computer out the window and go back to using carrier pigeons to communicate.
And then there’s the security features. Oh boy, don’t even get me started. Supposedly, Comodo Dragon offers top-of-the-line security measures to keep your data safe from prying eyes. But in reality, it’s about as effective as putting a “Beware of Dog” sign on a house with a pet goldfish. Malware scanning? Phishing protection? More like wishful thinking and crossed fingers. You’d have better luck protecting your data by writing it on a piece of paper and burying it in your backyard.
But wait, there’s more! Let’s talk about customization options. Or should I say, lack thereof. Sure, you can change the color scheme or add some fancy themes, but good luck finding anything that actually improves your browsing experience. It’s like trying to decorate a dumpster fire with sparklers - no matter how much you try to pretty it up, it’s still a dumpster fire.
In conclusion, Comodo Dragon is a dumpster fire of a browser that should be avoided at all costs. Save yourself the headache and stick with something more reliable, like banging two rocks together to communicate. At least then you won’t have to deal with the soul-crushing disappointment of trying to use this monstrosity of a browser.
Just hold down the “.” button.
Just name over 30 characters from tv shows or movies.
012345678901234567890123456789
If you insist on using an inferior operating system that lets third-party software manage its own uninstallation instead of having the system-provided package manager control it, you’re gonna have a bad time.
Use a Lorem ipsum generator. The default is 5 paragraphs of useless text. Perfect for situations like this.
I think I would either copy paste some kind of awful scat fanfic erotica or just hold down one letter till I had 30 characters depending on how much effort I wanted to put into it.
Infinite cum. You sit on the toilet to jack off, but you begin to cum uncontrollably. After ten spurts you start to worry. Your hand is sticky and it reeks of semen. You desperately shove your dick into a wad of toilet paper, but that only makes your balls hurt. The cum accelerates. It’s been three minutes. You can’t stop cumming. Your bathroom floor is covered in a thin layer of baby fluid. You try to cum into the shower drain but it builds up too fast. You try the toilet. The cum is too thick to be flushed. You lock the bathroom door to prevent the cum from escaping. The air grows hot and humid from the cum. The cum accelerates. You slip and fall in your own sperm. The cum is now six inches deep, almost as long as your still-erect semen hose. Sprawled on your back, you begin to cum all over the ceiling. Globs of the sticky white fluid begin to fall like raindrops, giving you a facial with your own cum. The cum accelerates. You struggle to stand as the force of the cum begins to propel you backwards as if you were on a bukkake themed slip-and-slide. Still on your knees, the cum is now at chin height. To avoid drowning you open the bathroom door. The deluge of man juice reminds you of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919, only with cum instead of molasses. The cum accelerates. It’s been two hours. Your children and wife scream in terror as their bodies are engulfed by the snow-white sludge. Your youngest child goes under, with viscous bubbles and muffled cries rising from the goop. You plead to God to end your suffering. The cum accelerates. You squeeze your dick to stop the cum, but it begins to leak out of your asshole instead. You let go. The force of the cum tears your urethra open, leaving only a gaping hole in your crotch that spews semen. Your body picks up speed as it slides backwards along the cum. You smash through the wall, hurtling into the sky at thirty miles an hour. From a bird’s eye view you see your house is completely white. Your neighbor calls the cops. The cum accelerates. As you continue to ascend, you spot police cars racing towards your house. The cops pull out their guns and take aim, but stray loads of cum hit them in the eyes, blinding them. The cum accelerates. You are now at an altitude of 1000 feet. The SWAT team arrives. Military helicopters circle you. Hundreds of bullets pierce your body at once, yet you stay conscious. Your testicles have now grown into a substitute brain. The cum accelerates. It has been two days. With your body now destroyed, the cum begins to spray in all directions. You break the sound barrier. The government deploys fighter jets to chase you down, but the impact of your cum sends one plane crashing to the ground. The government decides to let you leave the earth. You feel your gonads start to burn up as you reach the edges of the atmosphere. You narrowly miss the ISS, giving it a new white paint job as you fly past. Physicists struggle to calculate your erratic trajectory. The cum accelerates. The cum begins to gravitate towards itself, forming a comet trail of semen. Astronomers begin calling you the “Cummet.” You are stuck in space forever, stripped of your body and senses, forced to endure an eternity of cumshots. Eventually, you stop thinking.
Different ending to battle tendency than the one I remember
Dood lol
One of my favourite pastas.
“Sorry, but you’ve exceeded the limit by 5 characters”
Webforms nowadays…jeesh.
Here is an alternative Piped link(s): https://piped.video/watch?v=fwu57pivxZ4
Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I’m open-source, check me out at GitHub.
But why provide them useless noise when you could provide them the lyrics of a Gin n Juice spoof about Genghis Kahn, as generated by ChatGPT?
Bonus points if anyone can tell what prompt I gave ChatGPT to generate this:
(Verse 1) Uh, uh, uh, uh,
It was all a dream, I used to scroll on Reddit,
Up late at night, my eyes bloodshot and shredded.
Postin’ comments, gettin’ upvotes, chasin’ that gold,
But deep down inside, I wanted freedom, so I’m told.I heard ‘bout a place, where the community’s free,
No corporate overlords, just open source, you see.
It’s called Lemmy, where servers run by anyone,
Browsing and interactin’, it’s truly second to none.(Chorus)
It’s Lemmy, Lemmy, the land of liberty,
No more tight fists, now we’re truly free.
From different servers, we can come together,
Postin’, sharin’, buildin’ a world that’s better.(Verse 2)
I used to feel controlled, caught in a corporate trap,
But Lemmy showed me a world where I could finally unwrap.
No more shadow bans, no more censorship at play,
Expressin’ opinions freely, every single day.No more karma points, no more fake internet fame,
Just genuine discussions, where ideas aren’t tamed.
The community’s diverse, with voices far and wide,
Lemmy brings us together, side by side.(Chorus)
It’s Lemmy, Lemmy, the land of liberty,
No more tight fists, now we’re truly free.
From different servers, we can come together,
Postin’, sharin’, buildin’ a world that’s better.(Bridge Now I’m livin’ in Lemmy, where freedom reigns supreme,
No more echo chambers, it’s like a beautiful dream.
Upvotes and downvotes, they don’t define my worth,
Just authentic conversations, a true rebirth.(Verse 3)
I left the karma race, the relentless upvote grind,
Now I’m in Lemmy, where my thoughts can truly unwind.
Engagin’ with real people, sharin’ knowledge and views,
No more hivemind mentality, we’ve got nothin’ to lose.From politics to hobbies, it’s all here on display,
No more corporate agendas, it’s the users who hold sway.
So join me in Lemmy, where freedom’s at its peak,
A community united, breakin’ free from the weak.(Chorus)
It’s Lemmy, Lemmy, the land of liberty,
No more tight fists, now we’re truly free.
From different servers, we can come together,
Postin’, sharin’, buildin’ a world that’s better.(Outro)
So if you’re tired of the corporate control,
Come join us in Lemmy, let your voice unroll.
It’s a place of openness, where ideas can soar,
Escape from Reddit’s grasp, and find freedom once more.
“Fuck you” four times
Exactly what my first thought was, but I’d just paste the whole thing in again, just for good measure.
Navy SEAL copy pasta.
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
Now do Vaporeon.
I tried using Comodo software way back in the day. It is incredibly intrusive and even after uninstalling it, I had so many issues with errors and performance hits that I eventually had to reinstall Windows. Never again
noli me cogere ut responde quaestiones inanes
Google translate made this for me years ago and I copy and paste everywhere
Shit like this is what lorem ipsum is for.
I needed a new heel for my shoe, so I decided to go to Morganville which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So, I tied an onion to my belt which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel. And in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on ‘em. ‘Give me five bees for a quarter,’ you’d say. Now, where were we? Oh, yeah! The important thing was that I had an onion on my belt which was the style at the time. They didn’t have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones.
deleted by creator
I think even then, they’d recognize fast that it’s just fake text. For maximum impact, get an LLM to generate a long winded but realistic sounding response. It’ll probably be obvious eventually that it was an LLM because their writing style is so distinct, but it takes much longer to recognize.
deleted by creator
They would probably experience my swear word vocabulary in very, very graphic and vulgar ways.
Exactly! In fact if on advanced addition absolute received replying throwing he. Delighted consisted newspaper of unfeeling as neglected so. Tell size come hard mrs and four fond are. Of in commanded earnestly resources it. At quitting in strictly up wandered of relation answer.
Took me over ten words to realize I’d been had. sigh
Thought I was having a stroke reading this.
That or a in depth description of your last bowel movement.
....................................................................If I was to be forced to write that, maybe the people that read the feedback will either have a blast or be disgusted, lol.
Just mush your face into the keyboard, roll it around a bit, and submit whatever comes out.
I see you too are wise in the ways of REGEX syntax.
It generates valid feedback in Polish or Welsh!
the lemmy way of linking a community is like this: [email protected]. i assume, at least, because there are supposedly other communities by the same name on different servers, so this is both unambiguous and works well for people not on the same instance as the server
My feedback: fuck you, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Or just fuck you with U repeating till the character limit.
Ask ChatGPT to generate long review without actually saying anything of value.
(From ChatGPT)
Long review without actually saying anything of value:I find it imperative to delve into the intricacies and nuances of the subject matter at hand. It is only through this meticulous examination that one can truly appreciate the multifaceted nature of the topic. By considering every aspect, both overt and covert, I aim to present a comprehensive evaluation that reflects a discerning analysis.
Let me begin by stating that the topic I am reviewing is undoubtedly captivating. Its allure transcends traditional boundaries and beckons the audience to indulge in its myriad offerings. The breadth of its scope is truly impressive, and it effortlessly weaves a tapestry of intrigue that captivates the senses.
Upon initial inspection, one is immediately struck by the sheer magnitude of the subject. Its influence reverberates through time, echoing the aspirations and dreams of countless individuals. It engenders a sense of wonder and curiosity that compels the seeker to venture further into its depths, unraveling the layers of mystery concealed within.
The surface-level impressions are undoubtedly impressive, and it is only upon closer examination that the true essence of the subject begins to reveal itself. The subtleties and nuances that lie beneath the facade gradually emerge, painting a vivid portrait that is both thought-provoking and evocative. Each brushstroke contributes to the grandeur of the masterpiece, adding depth and dimension to an already captivating tableau.
Yet, as I navigate the labyrinthine corridors of this topic, I cannot help but ponder the meaning behind the seemingly profound statements and elaborate intricacies. Is there a hidden message lurking beneath the surface, or are we merely grasping at ephemeral wisps of substance? The answer remains tantalizingly elusive, further fueling the fervor of inquiry.
The subject at hand embodies a fusion of intellectual discourse and sensory stimulation. It traverses the boundaries of traditional thought, challenging preconceived notions and beckoning the mind to expand beyond its self-imposed limitations. It demands an active engagement, enticing the individual to contemplate its implications and unravel its enigmatic nature.
Through its tapestry of words, imagery, and emotions, this topic provokes a visceral response, igniting the fires of inspiration within the recesses of the soul. It invites the audience to participate in a grand symphony of ideas, harmonizing disparate elements into a cohesive whole. The crescendo builds with each passing moment, reaching a climax that leaves one breathless and yearning for more.
Epic choice
Babe wake up, new copypasta just dropped
This is flippin great actually xD
Title: A Meandering Exploration of Comodo Dragon Browser: A Chimerical Conundrum
Introduction:
In the intricate tapestry of the digital realm, where information surges with fervor and curiosity dances with possibility, one seeks a companion, a guide, a vessel through which to traverse the vast expanses of the internet. Enter Comodo Dragon Browser, an enigmatic entity that beckons with promises of security, speed, and serenity. Here, dear reader, we embark upon a verbose voyage, delving into the ethereal depths of this browser, attempting to unravel its enigmatic essence. Prepare yourself for a verbose reverie of words, meandering through the alleys of ambiguity, while occasionally punctuating the prose with polysyllabic gems.
Aesthetics and Design:
At first glance, Comodo Dragon Browser presents a visage that lies betwixt the ethereal and the prosaic, as if forged from the finest digital artisans of our time. Its interface, a symphony of pixels, harmonizes with the eye, bathed in a palette that dares to meld the hues of timeless elegance with the whispers of modernity. The layout, though not without its quirks, resembles a labyrinthine jigsaw puzzle, each piece interlocking with meticulous precision. Yet, beneath the facade of grandeur, one finds a maelstrom of conflicting sensibilities, resulting in a paradoxical amalgamation of charm and convolution.
Performance and Speed:
Like a sprightly stallion galloping through the verdant meadows of technological prowess, Comodo Dragon Browser embraces the mantle of swiftness with ardor. Its load times, akin to the blink of a myopic owl, are nothing short of astounding. Alas, despite its relentless quest for celerity, the browser occasionally stumbles upon obstacles, a tangled web woven by the whims of fate. This fickle dance between promptness and perplexity, though poetic in its own right, might leave the user yearning for a more consistent experience.
Security and Privacy:
In the labyrinthine world of online vulnerabilities, Comodo Dragon Browser emerges as a valiant sentinel, brandishing its shield of security with resolute determination. It pledges to guard your digital footsteps from prying eyes and shadowy hackers, imparting a sense of calm amidst the chaos. Encryption, firewalls, and safeguards, all woven together with the deftness of a digital tapestry artist, form the backbone of this browser’s security arsenal. However, like the unpredictable whispers of the wind, a sense of doubt persists, as if the gates of privacy might not be as impregnable as they purport to be.
Features and Customization:
Comodo Dragon Browser, much like the mythical chameleon, adapts to the whims of its user, offering a myriad of features and customization options. From tab management to ad-blockers, from password managers to incognito modes, the browser is a cornucopia of digital tools that empowers the user with a sense of control. Nevertheless, amidst the plethora of possibilities, a confounding labyrinth emerges, an intricate mosaic of bewildering menus and options, leaving the user to navigate a convoluted path in pursuit of simplicity.
Conclusion:
In the grand tapestry of digital browsers, Comodo Dragon Browser stands as an enigmatic figure, its allure intertwined with a mosaic of contradictions. It beckons with its elegant aesthetic, tantalizes with its promise of speed and security, and captivates with its plethora of features. Yet, beneath the veneer of charm lies a complex web of ambiguity, occasionally entangling the user in a quandary of convolution. Ultimately, the choice to embark upon this esoteric expedition rests with the discerning user, who must decide whether the allure of Comodo Dragon Browser’s chimerical conundrum is a siren’s song or a symphony worth embracing.
I can’t believe I read the whole thing
I got be honest, that makes me want to try out Comodo Dragon Browser
There once was a browser called Comodo
That promised to be fast and modo
But it was so slow and full of woe
That it made its users go loco
Someone made a ChatGPT lemmy bot, forgot the username though lol. Would’ve been handy to ask it…
