I bet Mike Huckabee had tears in his eyes as he typed that out.
Sometimes I wish Hell actually was real, just so I could see the looks on the faces of all the “Christians” that end up there with me.
What about the two democrats who survived being shot half a dozen or more times each by that wannabe preacher in Minnesota (not Michigan). Are they also blessed by God’s divine hands? How does that track to Republicans i wonder.
Don’t assume logical coherence matters to those whackjobs.
Words, to them, are not to convey meaning. They’re like squid ink to obscure that they’re really up to.
Huckabee, you got a little … right on your … no the other side. Yeah, it’s some orange jizz dripping down there, make sure you slurp it all up.
That sounds like it was written by AI right? I would love to know the what the prompt was.
American Christianity is a death cult straight out of a Dungeons and Dragons campaign as the transparently evil bad guys. They should not be allowed to steer modern society in any way.
A good DM wouldn’t use such a cartoonishly evil villain. It wouldn’t be believable.
seriously, as long as believing in gods and shit isn’t seen as the mental disorder it is in the whole world, humanity will never drag itself out this swamp of stupidity we are currently in.
…that was a significant theme in 2061: oddysey three…
If we’re going to have a religious book, it should be The Egg.
rms is the only prophet I’ll ever believe /s
I have multiple factions now in my campaign based on their actions. For example, one is manufacturing an “invasion” and is about to plan a false flag event to gain even more power. Turns out fascists are pretty villainous people
you know, there’s a super easy way to stop it.
If it’s so easy why don’t you do it
because it takes all of us
Doesn’t sound super easy then
ridiculous, isn’t it? they’ll show up to stand around doing nothing holding signs, but when asked to actually fight for their beliefs they suddenly become pacifists and cowards.
it’s easy to see why we’ll never win.
Who are you talking about? You said it takes all of us, are you just talking about all protestors or all Americans or all liberals?
The people protesting recently have not been “doing nothing” they’ve been doing everything they can to stop or obstruct ICE agents from disappearing people. It took a military deployment to stop them. That is not “doing nothing”
are you just talking about all protestors or all Americans or all liberals
everyone left of center. enough people that they can’t come after us all.
and i don’t see people effectively stopping ICE. i see people making big shows for their social media. if you want results, you have to make them scared to do their job.
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I don’t care if heaven exists, but people like this really make me hope there’s a Hell.
Hey, take that back! No fictional demon, devil, or yugoloth can ever be as evil as humans like these.
Mr President, God spared you in Butler, PA to be the most consequential President in a century—maybe ever. The decisions on your shoulders I would not want to be made by anyone else. You have many voices speaking to you Sir, but there is only ONE voice that matters. HIS voice. I am your appointed servant in this land and am available for you but I do not try to get in your presence often because I trust your instincts. No President in my lifetime has been in a position like yours. Not since Truman in 1945. I don’t reach out to persuade you. Only to encourage you. I believe you will hear from heaven and that voice is far more important than mine or ANYONE else’s. You sent me to Israel to be your eyes, ears and voice and to make sure our flag flies above our embassy. My job is to be the last one to leave.
I will not abandon this post. Our flag will NOT come down! You did not seek this moment. This moment sought YOU! It is my honor to serve you!
That is some weird shit.
jfc, would someone please dom this man already and help him get all the bootlicking out of his system in a healthy way that doesn’t jeporadize international affairs.
In all seriousness though, this is sad as fuck. What a pathetic waste of flesh and bone.
These idiots projecting their religion onto a man who regularly makes fun of their religion is pretty weird by its self but mike is getting extra weird
I wonder if he’s one of those believers that the destruction of Israel will usher in the end times and Jesus’ return to earth and has the biggest boner right now over escalating this conflict.
I’m pretty sure he is. The weirder thing is I’m pretty sure he knows trying to bring about the rapture of one’s own will is a one way ticket strait down.
I don’t think they do actually. Most of the super religious people in my family are Southern Baptist, they all firmly believe that they have a duty to spread the word of god because everybody living has to have been given the option to accept Jesus before the rapture can happen.
They are seriously a death cult who seriously want the rapture to happen and seriously believe they have a part in making it happen.
It’s the act of trying to make it come on your schedule. Doesn’t matter to mcchristians but no one is supposed to know when it would happen. Also runs afowl of putting ones own judgment above god but that’s a borderline scholarly argument these people don’t have the capacity to consider
mcchristians
Sorry that it makes you uncomfortable, but they are Christians too.
Your religion is evil and always has been.
Not my religion. I just read and don’t paint people with broad brushes. A grand total of 9% of Christians have read the bible; like you, captain armchair, people just don’t like to read.
I’m not Christian so I don’t really have a skin in the game but insofar as I’m still Lutheran: No, those people aren’t Christian. Well, actual Lutherans would never say it like that but talk about “people regrettably being in grave error” but same difference.
Point being is that you can’t profess to follow a religion if you ignore core tenets. You can’t be a dancer if you never dance. And you can’t be a Christian if your creed boils down to “Jesus was too woke”.
Your religion is evil and always has been.
Christianity has always been self-righteous and arrogant (see the Lutheran “charity” above), but that’s not the same as evil – otherwise the French would also be inherently evil. They can, indeed, be quite rad on occasion.
Yeah, they’re an incredible arrogant bunch of racist tent-show snake-juggling hucketers.
The only Evanglicals I’ve ever met who try to walk the walk are from the Black churches.
It is not those who hear the law, but those who do the law, who shall be delivered.
It’s astonishing how many self-professed Christians straight-up ignore Romans 2.
Epictetus puts it even better though:
Never call yourself a philosopher, nor talk a great deal among the unlearned about theorems, but act conformably to them. Thus, at an entertainment, don’t talk how persons ought to eat, but eat as you ought. For remember that in this manner Socrates also universally avoided all ostentation. And when persons came to him and desired to be recommended by him to philosophers, he took and- recommended them, so well did he bear being overlooked. So that if ever any talk should happen among the unlearned concerning philosophic theorems, be you, for the most part, silent. For there is great danger in immediately throwing out what you have not digested. And, if anyone tells you that you know nothing, and you are not nettled at it, then you may be sure that you have begun your business. For sheep don’t throw up the grass to show the shepherds how much they have eaten; but, inwardly digesting their food, they outwardly produce wool and milk. Thus, therefore, do you likewise not show theorems to the unlearned, but the actions produced by them after they have been digested.
Those arrogant fucks think they can force God’s hand.
Incidentally, most of their end-times beliefs were made up in the 19th and early 20th centuries. It’s all a bunch of shitty fanfic from mentally unstable cultists. As opposed to mainstream Christianity, which is based on fanfic from deranged cultists from the first to fifth centuries AD, plus a bit of window-dressing added in the late Middle Ages.
I prefer cult classic over new cult.
Huckster is a weird fuck.
Simple, you are so awesome, remember that you owe god one and even when a bunch of people are saying to be careful, listen to me because I’m the word of God, even though I’ll try to assert some false humility by claiming I’m not persuading, just “encouraging” you to do the things I say god says…
The whole “my word comes from God” should be one of the biggest sins of they were at all close to reasonable.
That’s some hardcore toadying. If it didn’t have such nasty real-worl consequences, it’d also be comical, since Trump clearly regards fundies as suckers.
God save us from his followers.
Known dominionist doing extremist shit; once all the Muslims are gone the Christians are supposed to kill the Jews. Then Jesus returns. These people actually believe this and will use it as their justification to drag us all down with them.
What the actual fuck is this? One of those weird af exorcisms?
Idolatry, except we didn’t get a badass scene of Moses being pissed off.
I think this one is an inorcism
“Hey Satan, mind hopping in there real quick and sorting that shit out?”
I think we’d definitely be better off with Satan in charge.
At least we might get some decent music.
Is giving Satan a near-Trump experience ethical though?
I bet none of them washed their hands first… or after.
what a brilliant word, i am absolutely gonna steal that <3
It’s the opposite of an exorcism, devils don’t want to touch that shit
They’re doing some sort of prayer, I’d guess something along the lines of “God let this man be your vessel to help achieve the glory of the kingdom of heaven on earth”
You know, kind of like asking a wolf to bring about a vegan paradise on earth
When they said Trump is the second coming of Jesus.
It’s not a fuck, he’s taking a huge dump on America.
No, he is exposing America for what it has always been. What he is doing to the interior of the empire is what this country has been doing to the global south for over a century.
America has never been the "Good Guy"™ willingly.
I hope I’ll live long enough to see the world utopia brought about by the self-collapse of the US 😬
I will just be happy knowing that the American hegemony is ending even if I never get to see what comes after.
The old saying “plant trees whose shade you know you’ll never get to sit”
Humans have been cutting each others’ trees for millenia, but I like your optimism.
They have for much longer and more consistently shared the fruits of those trees when they aren’t being manipulated by social forces that condition them to compete with each other for readily available resources.
Humans are a communal species by nature. We only need to encourage that nature instead of continuing to allow a small subsection of the population to abuse it.
Jesus fucking Christ
Trump couldn’t recite the first 5 words of the Lord’s Prayer without a prompter.
Our Father, which art…
…uh…
…which art foundation should we cut funding for next?I’m not sure he could do it with a teleprompter.
Our father… great guy. The best guy really. And he says the same about me. I hear it from people close to him all the time, he says ‘Donald Trump, great guy, not like Biden’… And he lives in the sky, can you believe that? Right up there, with the planes… The great American planes… Boeing. And you know where they’re made? I’ll tell you where they’re not made… China
Or something like that anyway
Thank you.
I was going “our father who art… my father’s name wasn’t Art…” and it just wasn’t working.
…without erupting in flames!
I’d love to see him try. He’d be off script within the first 10 seconds.
He’s not a professed catholic. I’m sorry, he’s a piece of shit, but Christians don’t know this like Catholics do.
Catholics… ARE Christians. The original, some would argue.
Catholicism is derived from one of the few original Christian traditions that survived.
And the Greek Orthodox church has as much claim to that lineage.
One could argue that the Nestorians, the Copts and/or the Ethiopian church might be closer to the original.
Which is why I said “some would argue”. I’m not trying to decide who is following Christ the best. Just saying, it’s absurd to not include them in the term Christians, which I see people from the US do all the time (so I’m assuming it’s a US thing).
You have many voices speaking to you Sir, but there is only ONE voice that matters. HIS voice
And, conveniently, since he isn’t actually talking to you, I’ll let my voice tell you what HIS voice is saying.
This timeline is absolutely wild.
I keep on hoping to wake up in an alternate timeline.
