• @[email protected]
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    11 day ago

    If you lead with “Thing you like is actually bad”, their immediate response will be to disagree with you and start defending the thing they like. And if you want someone to listen to your arguments, rather than just try to poke holes in them, you must avoid putting them on the defensive.

    To get through to people, find common ground and build off that. “If you like FEATURE in GAME, you’ll probably love SIMILAR FEATURE in OTHER GAME because…” is something that’s actually going to get someone interested, rather than start a pointless argument :)

    • @[email protected]
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      124 hours ago

      If you lead with “Thing you like is actually bad”

      Why would you assume the critiques are of things they like? 5e has plenty of widely recognized flaws.

      To get through to people, find common ground and build off that.

      Often, simply catering to people’s priors means never leaving their comfort zone.

      • @[email protected]
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        114 hours ago

        If they play a system, they probably like that system and find its shortcomings acceptable. You can’t convince someone that a system isn’t enjoyable when they have first-hand evidence to the contrary.

        Asking people to stop being comfortable doing something they like, so that they can be uncomfortable doing something you like, isn’t a good value proposition.

        • @[email protected]
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          113 hours ago

          If they play a system, they probably like that system

          I don’t think you’ve ever actually gamed before.

      • Kichae
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        023 hours ago

        Sute, but the thing they like is “D&D”, and D&D isn’t just a game anymore, it’s an identity signifier. Pointing people to other games before establishing yourself as firmly not attacking their identity is going to trigger a fight.

        • @[email protected]
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          113 hours ago

          It’s not about identity as much as it’s a very poor way to try to convince someone.

          Don’t base your line of argument on a statement you know the other person will likely disagree with.

          For example “You should play Pathfinder because DnD sucks”, holds no weight to people who don’t think that DnD sucks. In fact if they happen to like DnD, it undermines your argument, because if you disagree about DnD, aren’t you also likely to disagree about Pathfinder?

        • @[email protected]
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          222 hours ago

          D&D isn’t just a game anymore, it’s an identity signifier

          Which is part of the problem. Like talking to someone who only drinks Coca-Cola about trying a new bag of tea you brought over.

          attacking their identity

          If you’ve wedded yourself so deeply to the brand that you feel attacked whenever someone levels a critique, you’re probably not mature enough to be at my table.

          • Kichae
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            122 hours ago

            Ok, but these discussions aren’t happening at you’re table. “Well, fuck them then” isn’t exactly helpful.

            • @[email protected]
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              22 hours ago

              “Well, fuck them then”

              Isn’t what I said. But if that’s what you’ve heard, you’re illustrating my point.