Fat Tony to Today I [email protected]English • edit-29 days agoTIL cows can suffer from fatal bloated stomachs. A way of treating it is by puncture and burning the released methane gas (to determine how much is remaining).lemmy.worldmessage-square96fedilinkarrow-up1392
arrow-up1392playTIL cows can suffer from fatal bloated stomachs. A way of treating it is by puncture and burning the released methane gas (to determine how much is remaining).lemmy.worldFat Tony to Today I [email protected]English • edit-29 days agomessage-square96fedilink
minus-square@[email protected]linkfedilinkEnglish9•9 days agoI know I might get shit for this, but I thought I would share it anyways because you asked. Ultimate Requirement for Ballistic Bovine Methane Production: ~2 kg/s sustained (400x natural rate). LOX Supply: 10 kg/s (requiring cryogenic tanker trucks). Thrust: > 7,000 N (per cow-nozzle). Structural Integrity: Cow reinforced with carbon nanotubes (to avoid rapid unplanned disassembly at ignition). Ignition System: Tesla Coil Spark Plug implanted in the rumen. Trajectory: Vertical launch pad (avoiding trees, barns, UFOs). Final Verdict: Technically possible if you: Treat the cow as a meat-based fuselage. Ignore ethics, biology, physics, and local fire codes. Have a NASA-sized budget and a death wish. Outcome: Success? A charred cow fragment reaches low Earth orbit. Failure? A crater smelling of burnt hair and rocket fuel. Better Use: Flare the methane. It’s cheaper, safer, and the cow lives. Disclaimer: No cows were harmed in this thought experiment. Please do not weaponize livestock. 🚀🐄🔥
minus-square@[email protected]linkfedilinkEnglish7•9 days agoAchieving Ballistic Velocity (The Tsiolkovsky Cow Equation) The **Rocket Equation** is brutal: `Δv = Isp * g₀ * ln(m₀ / m_f)` Where: * `Δv` = Change in velocity needed (`11,186 m/s` for escape). * `Isp` = Specific impulse (`~360 s` for CH4/LOX). * `g₀` = Gravity (`9.81 m/s²`). * `m₀` = Initial mass (cow + engines + LOX + methane). * `m_f` = Final mass (just… cooked cow?). **Assumptions:** * Engine mass: `300 kg` (mini-Raptor). * LOX mass: **5x** methane mass (rocket ratio). * Methane stored: `500 kg` (we’re pumping hard). * `m₀ = 700 (cow) + 300 (engine) + 500 (CH₄) + 2,500 (LOX) = 4,000 kg`. * `m_f = 700 kg` (cow, assuming engines/tanks detach). **Calculation:** `Δv = 360 * 9.81 * ln(4,000 / 700)` `= 3,531.6 * ln(5.71)` `= 3,531.6 * 1.74` `= ~6,150 m/s`. **Result:** **6,150 m/s < 11,186 m/s**. → **Verdict:** Suborbital cow. Maximum apogee: **~1,000 km** (a very high moo). → **Impact Velocity:** **~3-4 km/s** (kinetic energy = 0.5 * 700kg * (3,500m/s)^2 ≈ **4.3 gigajoules**). → **Effect:** Creates a **10m wide crater**, vaporizing the cow and any nearby farmers. A true “pasture bomb.”
minus-squarespicy pancakelinkfedilinkEnglish7•9 days ago*raises hand* this is assuming a spherical cow, right?
minus-square@[email protected]linkfedilinkEnglish4•9 days agoWhy did I study all this shit if in the end I am still broke af
minus-square@[email protected]linkfedilinkEnglish2•edit-29 days agoBecause you aren’t making cow propelled rockets even though you know how.
minus-square@[email protected]linkfedilinkEnglish1•9 days agoThis seems much less than 2kg/s and where do you get liquid oxygen from?
minus-square@[email protected]linkfedilinkEnglish3•9 days agoYou missed out the part where cows are frictionless and spherical. Also there are 322 of them in the truck.
I know I might get shit for this, but I thought I would share it anyways because you asked.
Ultimate Requirement for Ballistic Bovine
Final Verdict:
Technically possible if you:
Outcome:
Disclaimer: No cows were harmed in this thought experiment. Please do not weaponize livestock. 🚀🐄🔥
Achieving Ballistic Velocity (The Tsiolkovsky Cow Equation)
The **Rocket Equation** is brutal:
`Δv = Isp * g₀ * ln(m₀ / m_f)`
Where:
* `Δv` = Change in velocity needed (`11,186 m/s` for escape).
* `Isp` = Specific impulse (`~360 s` for CH4/LOX).
* `g₀` = Gravity (`9.81 m/s²`).
* `m₀` = Initial mass (cow + engines + LOX + methane).
* `m_f` = Final mass (just… cooked cow?).
**Assumptions:**
* Engine mass: `300 kg` (mini-Raptor).
* LOX mass: **5x** methane mass (rocket ratio).
* Methane stored: `500 kg` (we’re pumping hard).
* `m₀ = 700 (cow) + 300 (engine) + 500 (CH₄) + 2,500 (LOX) = 4,000 kg`.
* `m_f = 700 kg` (cow, assuming engines/tanks detach).
**Calculation:**
`Δv = 360 * 9.81 * ln(4,000 / 700)`
`= 3,531.6 * ln(5.71)`
`= 3,531.6 * 1.74`
`= ~6,150 m/s`.
**Result:** **6,150 m/s < 11,186 m/s**.
→ **Verdict:** Suborbital cow. Maximum apogee: **~1,000 km** (a very high moo).
→ **Impact Velocity:** **~3-4 km/s** (kinetic energy = 0.5 * 700kg * (3,500m/s)^2 ≈ **4.3 gigajoules**).
→ **Effect:** Creates a **10m wide crater**, vaporizing the cow and any nearby farmers. A true “pasture bomb.”
*raises hand* this is assuming a spherical cow, right?
Why did I study all this shit if in the end I am still broke af
Because everyone is broke af
Because you aren’t making cow propelled rockets even though you know how.
This seems much less than 2kg/s and where do you get liquid oxygen from?
You missed out the part where cows are frictionless and spherical. Also there are 322 of them in the truck.