It is so weird going through old photos of me from 3 years ago through to now, like first off there’s a little dysphoria from that long before E. But also seeing me go from miserable and frowning all the time to starting to transition to like actually smiling all the time lol (besides the typical trans timeline thing) is wild. I forgot just how sad and angry I was before…

Had my trans care intake meeting today and was referred to an endo. It went fine, but when they said that they were referring me I started crying 🥹I didn’t expect all those emotions to hit me at the same time idk I never cry, it just feels like my dream is starting to become a reality after years and years of telling myself I would just die with this feeling and never would muster up the courage to face who I am. God I can’t wait honestly

oup time for the inevitable period where I consider dumping my partner for the crime of not being a trans woman. I love my life D:

was talking to one of my old trans girl friends the other day and she was like “yeah i’m dating a cis guy now” and so I, the dutiful man-hater that I am, asked “is he treating you right?” and my friend says “no actually” 💀

apparently they are working on things and its mostly communication problems though which is good. my friend also is living with her girlfriend who I know she can rely on so that’s good but it’s like oh god it’s gotta be so miserable to be a straight trans girl. of course I know I’m one to talk because once I get on prog I’m probably gonna go back to being bi which will be tragic but i’m hoping I can stay resolute (read: not think with my dick) and thoroughly vet any tme person I’m interested in before actually making a commitment to dating them

Mentioned this in another thread or two, but a crust punk trans commie matched with me on tinder.

Their opening line was “you’re probably the only person on this app that matches my vibe. What are your thoughts on protracted peoples wars? Also, can I take you to an arcade?”

Sent them the article I got published a few days ago, waiting to hear back on their thoughts.

Other than that, I’ve been socially changing my name, and people have been very receptive to that

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What if I took estrogen as a bit?

Wouldn’t that be hilarious if I cured my gender dysphoria for the lolz?

When they said t4t will heal your soul, they weren’t lying. Maybe some of you remember how i met my poor little stray catgirl when i posted in the last weekly queer thread. Well, that’s moved on from a one night stand to friends with benefits and it completely blows my mind what this woman does for me and how that changes the way i see myself in the mirror. Not only that, we’re learning so much about ourselves, about our sexualities, about transness, it’s just magical. I’m still getting flashbacks from the date we had a week ago, i’ve never been so desired and wanted before, and that just complete changes how i perceive myself. We met again yesterday at the bar were we first hooked up and a girl in the crowd started cheering when we made out. She immediately ran up and apologized to us, but it seems we were just too sweet together, so … yeah. I get her. I see what she sees in us and it’s amazing. I mean, it’s not all sunshine - my kitten has made it clear that she’s non-partnering and doesn’t want romantic commitment, and i wouldn’t ask that from her, but i realize now that this has been going on for 3 weeks that i probably need some of that in my life, or at least more attention and more waking up next to somebody else. That’s not a big problem, tho, we don’t see what we have as exclusive, so i just need one or two more relationships like that one or an anchor partner besides her. But now that she’s helped me past my “will nobody ever want me again?” fears, these seem like issues that will just sort themselves out.

Also went to visit a friend at the hospital after her bottom surgery. She’s obviously still in a rough spot, but she’s so happy already and she recovers fast. I originally just wanted to say hello and bring her some treats to make up for the hospital food, but the doctors said she was already good to go, so i could just drive her home. Felt good to be there for her in that moment, she’s such a sweet and lovely person.

Oh, and i’m finally resuming laser hair removal after i took a break for the summer. My face is gonna be an irradiated mess again on Monday and i can’t wait for it! When i’m scratching the stubble on my chin, i’m all like “a third of you fuckers is gonna be dead just 48 hours from now”.

I hadn’t worn make-up since last year, because I got lazy, and I felt like I didn’t need it anyway. Despite that, I would occasionally feel dysphoric when comparing myself to other women. Thinking I was nowhere near as good looking, and that my 5 years of HRT had been a disappointment. Well, today I put on make-up again for an appointment, and combined it with a sexy outfit. After seeing myself in the mirror, I must admit that I was wrong, because I saw a total snack. I guess I just forgot what I could look like.

get me out of this hellhole. where are the black queer people that dont want to drink?? its all bars and places with loud music. i dont care if that makes me boring, ok? i am boring, i wanna get coffee or go bowling or join a book club. everyone just likes to party. i was drinking so much last year, just to fit in. im an old man trapped in a young person body. is it weird that i get on with 30 year olds the best? even if we do drink its like fun sweet cocktails that you sip, not shots. and i cant just not take shots, ive definitely been ostracized when i dont drink or match the vibe.

I’m back after like 7 months I missed you bitches

A lot of changes in that time. I’m poly, turns out I’m a butch, I’m just generally more confident in my skin

I POSTED A PIC OF MY NEW HAIR IN THE TRANSFEMME DISCORD IM IN AND NO ONE HAS COMMENTED YET

Where the fuck is my attention and compliments!!! 😡 bask me in it you cowards

I’m getting my hair re-dyed tomorrow~ gonna go pink!

First HRT appointment booked for this friday… Holy shit… this feels wild haha