I always thought that didn’t happened, but based on what I’ve seen on the Internet, it seems like it is possibly more common that I thought.
Bitch I’ll do it now
I dare you
chairpop!
I would call it 1.5 times. In the 90s, I worked for a company that gave out $50 gift cards to a local grocery store for the holidays. I was young and still lived with my parents, so I used it to buy $50 worth of beer and fish (orange roughy). Went over to my friend’s house and we drank copious amounts of beer and consumed way too much beer battered roughy. Was standing outside the next morning having a smoke and trusted a fart. That was the last time I trusted a fart with a hangover.
Next time was about 25 years later, stomach gurgling during the last 20 minutes of a 2 hour commute, and well past the last public restroom. Tried to make it home, farting as I could to release whatever pressure I could. About 5 minutes from home, last fart released about 2 tablespoons of poop into my underpants. I phoned my wife to have the door open and make sure she wasn’t in the nearest bathroom. lol.
Man orange roughy is the best fish, young you had good taste in seafood.
Too bad my beer tastes weren’t as refined yet. Maybe then I wouldn’t have shit my pants! Stupid Miller Genuine Draft. lol
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Based on my own research, which should not be considered scientific by any means:
Pants shitting frequency directly correlates to one’s personal level of alcoholism.
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every alcoholic I’ve ever met, none of shit themselves.
but they pissed themselves, and their beds, and their friends and familys couches and beds, and their cars…
I still don’t understand how alcohol is the “cool” drug.
Cause it’s legal and easy to get. Same with cigarettes being seen as cool back in the day.
They did try to ban alcohol as well though.
It’s just so much worse of a drug that it lead to such massive issues so quickly society gave up on it.
The same thing is happening with other recreational drugs as well.
A few times. Mostly trusting farts. One time, simply running up the stairs did it.
Twice. Once very hungover and once with gastroenteritis. That’s less than once a decade, for perspective.
So I was feeling a bit under the weather and farted while in bed before getting up. It felt a bit wet but I ignored it. Turned out I basically shat myself and only realized after passing an interview that morning.
Nobody noticed or they just didn’t mention it, I ended up getting up the job so all ended up alright (except my self esteem)
Taking notes: poop pants in Interview to assert dominance.
Ha, that’s actually a hilarious conversation my buddy and I once had. We were talking about aggressively pooping in your pants in an interview while maintaining eye contact to assert dominance. The thought was it would make you appear fractionally taller (spacing you slightly up from the seat), the interviewer would be intimated by your sudden infinitesimal height difference.
I can’t imagine spending half a day not realizing that my pants were full of shit.
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How did you like, get changed and ready for an interview that sounds like it was in person and not notice? Like didn’t your ass get itchy or irritated
It was early in the morning so I basically just put on my pants and went straight there. It was just a bit and all liquid but yeah it got itchy lol. Not my best moment.
As an adult, only once ever. Though it’s rather difficult to properly call it poop:
Dysentery. Was homeless. Was thirsty. Drank contaminated water. Ended up shitting transparent slime mixed with blood.
I’m sorry friend. I hope things are better for you now.
A couple times over the course of adulthood. All were when I was sick and trusted a fart.
Probably twice. Both relating to colonoscopy prepping.
Probably a hundred.
99 of those times was when I had dysentery and had zero control over my bowels and took place over the course of like 3 days. I was literally bedridden and still having to muster the energy to get up every 5-10 minutes to shit… and sometimes, due to pure exhaustion or surprise, I just didnt act in time.
the other time was when I had an awful stomach flu and was literally forcibly drug out of my house by family who didnt believe I was sick until I shit in their car. Then they lost their minds over that
In that situation I would say they got what they deserved.
It wasnt intentional, but I have absolutely zero regrets about shitting in their car.
Had some regrets about having to clean myself off in the back yard and waddle into the house to shower, though, that was mostly cause i was so sick and low energy however.
I dont have any good excuse for when it’s happened to me. I travel a lot for work and the changes in diet plus things like stress and caffeine can cause my intestines to betray me sometimes lol.
Not trying to make a pun here, but Shit happens.
Especially when you start throwing weird new foods and, especially, spices at your digestive tract.
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Stomach flu
I’ve ulcerative colitis so in the last week probably 5-6 as I’ve had a flare up and was in hospital and couldn’t get to the toilet in time. Plus I had frequent diarrhea.
