things are in fact going extremely badly but we’ll see if they pick up starting tomorrow night for reasons that will preclude me being here for about a week (seeing my SO)
Sorry to hear you’re having a rough time!
My week’s been good. Finally started my four week vacation time. Feels so good, though we don’t seem to be getting any of that heat that the rest of the world is suffering under. It’s been somewhat chilly and absolutely pouring outside almost 24/7 for a while now.
Wish it could be at least dry and somewhat warm. Still so nice to be off work though!
I’m at the airport right now, about to leave for a week long vacation to Hawaii! I’ve never been before so it’ll be a super fun way to celebrate my one year anniversary with my wife!
Sorry to hear about the rough times OP. From one human being to another, keep doing your best and know that there’s another human somewhere hoping you are well. Cheers.
Sorry to hear about the rough times OP. From one human being to another, keep doing your best and know that there’s another human somewhere hoping you are well. Cheers.
i’m not very optimistic but we’ll see. a fundamental problem is i’m locked into my living situation for the foreseeable future unless something crazy happens, and my current living situation is constant and droning suicide fuel. also not really in a position to seek mental health professionals
My week has been pretty good, I work in a library so I spend my lunch digitizing any book I want or at least feel that it should be saved digitally.
That’s cool! I used to work in a bookstore but always felt like it was trying to put a price on reading. Library would feel a lot homier for me I feel. Thank you for what you do! If it weren’t for Libraries as a kid I probably would have never fallen in love with reading.
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It’s great you’re visiting a professional. Perhaps it might be nacrolepsy? Also try sleeping without light and sound by using the proper curtains and ear plugs. No alcohol or caffeine. Try sleeping a multiple of 1.5 hours, there’s apps for that. Look into other kinds of sleep hygiene.
Thanks for the advice. I saw a doctor today and he suggested doing some exams to narrow down the possibilities. Also got a prescription for a drug “in case I really needed”, but I suppose I should try with improving my sleep quality first.
That’s great. Yes as I mentioned look up sleep hygiene. People underestimate it and often ignore my advice. I had to learn it due to some meds I took a long time ago that kept we super awake.
Ear plugs require some practice, and there’s many different kinds. I prefer wax. And if you have curtains that let any light through it is really worth the investment. IKEA has good ones for like 50 eur.
If you must drink coffee, just take a single cup in the morning. You can also replace it with decaf like I did. Tea you can replace with ginger and mint. And like I said avoid alcohol. Like even a beer before bed will have negative effects.
Of course your tech usage matters too. At least start using the blue filter setting on your phone and pc.
Then regularity goes without question.
There’s a bunch of other things that help if you look it up. It’s really a matter of trying everything out.
Finally you might want to look into meditation. Stress means bad sleep. Even a simple body scan can help here.
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That’s great to hear. Who knows maybe this is enough. It can be annoying to change those pesky habits.
Well I am quite active on my phone actually before I sleep and it’s OK for me. I’d say experiment with it. At least turn on the blue light filter and keep the light down in your room. Avoid blue light. You might also want to avoid intense news and images and focus on longer texts. For example Wikipedia or librera/kindle. Or longer posts here.
A more extreme approach (extreme by today’s standards) would be not to have your phone in bed with you at all. Grab a book instead. It’s basically just a really long post from someone I think :)
Also when you get that sleepy feeling, go for it. Ignoring it will make it disappear for quite a while. At least that’s what I read and it applies to me.
If your ryrhm is screwed you can fix it by skipping a night or by doing lots of exercise.
And meditation. Well there’s countless ways. If you’ve never tried it before you might want to start with a body scan or with a breathing exercise. You can do this at any point during the day, even in meetings and during presentations.
There’s a lot of info online and also many apps. A lot of them are paid but are worth it. If you have Netflix, I believe it also has a course called mind space. There’s also a paid app by that name.
In short, meditation is about identifying with your awareness. More practically speaking, take the body scan. You focus on your big toe. Maybe even wiggle that baby. Then move up to the arch and the ankle, the lower leg. All the way up. You can even try to wiggle your nose, maybe your colleagues will notice! The point is that you are selectively focusing on a part of your body and moving that focus slowly and patiently.
The breathing one is just like it. But you focus on your breathing this time. Try taking in a deep breath and let it out slowly. Just doing that will reduce your stress, and focusing on it will help even more.
Ya it’s really that simple. All the deeper stuff is basically just playing around more with your ability to focus and be aware.
Which drug did you get prescribed, if you don’t mind me asking?
As someone with years and years of, err, experience with sleep issues, I’ve learned a thing or two about sleep aid medication. Most of the ones that fool with your GABA receptors tend to be pretty terrible for sleep quality and cause dependence and all sorts of other issues. Pretty much one of the only sleep aid medications that won’t fuck you up with longer term use is mirtazapine, which is an antidepressant but also inhibits your histamine H1 receptors (like older-type antihistamine drugs) so it’ll make you very sleepy. Used in super low doses (something like 3.5mg, where the lowest used for depression is usually 15mg) its SSRI effects don’t really kick in and it can actually increase sleep quality, and for most people at these low doses its only downside is that if you take it too late in the evening you’ll have a hell of a time wrenching yourself out of bed. It can lead to the H1 receptors getting desensitized in longer term use, meaning you can build up tolerance to the sleep aid effects, but that’s solved by taking a few weeks off of it if you do notice it getting less effective.
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Ohhh right, you meant medication for the drowsiness and not to help you sleep. Huh, surprising that he started with modafinil instead of a sleep aid, but yeah it’ll definitely get rid of your drowsiness. It’s a weird “wakefulness promoting” drug and not a regular stimulant, and it doesn’t have many of the downsides of something like amphetamines, but I’d still assume it’d be better for you to try and fix your sleep quality first before going for the stimulants. But then again, I’m absolutely not a doctor of any kind 😄
I hope things get better for you!
My week is starting off alright tbh. Been having bad neck pains. Work feels stale, home feels stale, gym feels stale, personal life feels stale.
I recently stopped talking to one of my best friends and after that, our group disbanded. Luckily I have a girlfriend and she keeps me sane, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss going out and getting drunk as a group of like 6 of us lol
Sorry to hear that bud. I recently stopped talking to my best friend and our friend group after their response to my wife’s pregnancy and miscarriage. Basically made us feel like a burden while she was pregnant, and with two exceptions, the other 10 people said nothing after the miscarriage.
Sucks to cut contact after 15 years, but he still did nothing after I talked to him about this. Ultimately, I think it was for the best, but it still blows when your supposed support system fails you.
I’m so sorry you all had to go through that. I hope you and your wife are doing well.
I had to stop talking to him because he SA’d two (maybe three) of my female friends and he attempted to do the same to my girlfriend. It was on my birthday and I invited all of my friends to drink, play board games, and just chill out.
I feel bad that such a bad thing happened to my friends at my party, and I regret not noticing he was like that earlier. Looking back, he had some red flags but I didn’t know he was capable of something like that. Maybe I was just being naive.
Ultimately, I think it was for the best, but it still blows when your supposed support system fails you.
I really agree with that. Thank you for your response
Thank you, doing better with time.
That’s fucked man. I wouldn’t blame yourself for trusting someone not to be a piece of shit. I’m glad you acted when you found out, and hopefully he faces consequence for his actions
I’ve been in a very dark place, mentally. I tried posting about it on a mental health community, and I attracted downvotes and trolls, so not good (some helpful people too, but not worth it imo)
I need to find a therapist, but I haven’t had much luck in the past (had one who went on an unprovoked rant about how there’s a MLK Day but no White People Day, and another who was obsessed with being so vocally anti-cannabis that I felt I couldn’t be honest)
I’m thinking about staying with my parents for a while, but I can’t afford to take time off work to go
I don’t have any words of consolement, but I’d just like to say that you were one of the first lemmy users I found on beehaw and I’ve enjoyed your comments and posts.
<3
Thank you, that really does mean something to me
Doing OKish, runnning very low on my cannabis which is stressing me out a bit thanks to slow delivery times, which is bad because cannabis is what keeps my mental health stable without ADHD medication, which I’m still like a month away from getting.
So I feel insanely restless and can’t focus on shit to save my life, even bought a new game and just can’t sit down and play it for longer than 20 or 30 minutes at the most. Hope things improve for you OP.
Been super busy this past month, finally done with my backlog and have time to enjoy myself again.
Sounds like most people commenting in this thread are going through some challenges right now. I’m hoping things turn around for everyone soon.
I’ve been having a great week.
- I got myself a working install of Linux on my laptop. I still have things I need to fix, but I’ve made it further than I actually expected in just 2 evenings after work.
- My kid is making great progress with learning how to swim.
- My job remains stressful but I had a few little victories that will make my September much easier than expected (or at least clear the plate a bit so that even if some things happen, they won’t pile onto an existing shit sandwich).
- I just bought some really awesome tomatoes at the farmer’s market, and can’t wait to incorporate into sandwiches starting tomorrow (tonight I gotta go buy some fresh sourdough to really complete the entire effect of a delicious sandwich). I love tomato season!
- I made it back to the gym for the first time in a month. Lots of travel in July (mostly work, but also a family vacation in the middle) put me in hotels without room in my schedule to do any real workouts, although I guess I walked way more than I normally do while traveling (one day I hit 15,000 steps almost entirely in airports). I feel better when I’m working out regularly, so being home is helpful for resetting that part of my routine.
I’m feeling pretty great! Sending good vibes to everyone else in this thread, whether they’re having good weeks or bad weeks.
Good to hear good news. The deer pretty much cropped my tomato plants right back to the small tomato cages, knocking most of the protected tomatoes off in the process.
On the bright side, my daughter is home from college for a month and the weather here in the Appalachian mountains has cooled a bit so there are likely some nice evening walks in my future.
Nice job on diving into Linux. It’s a love that never ends, except when you’re wildly confused. Then it resumes once you figure it out.
I saw your post talking about how you got it going in another community. Good for you! Linux still does not play well with laptops. It’s especially hard on the laptop you’re trying to get it working on. The older the hardware, the better the Linux is still the rule of thumb. As far as the rest, also happy for you. Your enthusiasm is contagious.
Debian has always worked pretty easily for me on ThinkPads. I guess it depends what you’re trying to run it on.
It really depends on what hardware you have. A new laptop just released last month will have a ton of issues with any linux distro. The guy we’re replying to installed linux on a mac laptop. Not ever easy! The ThinkPads often work well with any distro, as far as I know. Same goes for HP laptops. BUT, most gaming laptops are a no-go, unless you’re ready to spend hours tweaking after installation.
I had amazing luck getting Linux running nicely, way-back-when, with an Acer Aspire One. I’ve stayed with that product line for all my laptops and so far it’s paid off. But then there’s also options like System76 for nice machines with Linux pre-installed.
Not so great. My mom died a week ago, I got fired 6 weeks into paid family leave and I’ve started to realize that drinking is becoming a habit :(
That’s awful I’m so sorry 🫂. I hope things turn around for you
Honestly hope is what keeps me going. Thank you.
Im so sorry to hear about your mother passing last week. We love you so much here, and there are people that care about you. jobs come and go, and they always are going to look out for their best interests. I think it takes a lot of courage to recognize a growing bad habit, I hope you can find a healthier outlet to process your stress and griefs.
Thank you. Yeah, I’ve been applying to places but a lot of job postings these days are scams. Alcoholism killed my brother just under 2 years ago so I generally try not to drink. Ironic eh? :/
I’ve found that stress and grief cause me to be somewhat self destructive so that isn’t surprising to me. Take care of yourself. Although you’ll carry your mom’s death forever, the pain will get better and the joyful memories that you have will get their color back. Hang in there. We’re all rooting for you!
Holy shit, I’m so sorry to hear this. I’m happy to lend an ear if you need it, just send me a pm or hit me on Matrix.
I just found out that my car insurance was cancelled due to a billing error and now I’m driving uninsured until next week… My anxiety has been through the roof for a week now because of this and so so many other things. I feel like my life is teetering on the edge right now. But honestly it’s probably not that bad. What I really need is a med adjustment for anxiety… I am catastrophizing everything lately. I just need to get calm.
Hang in there chief. The insurance lapse will be merely a blip in the future, so, try to stay focused on number one. Breathe, and make sure you take time to care for your damn self. Nobody can benefit from your awesomeness if you worry yourself to death.
I got covid the day I was supposed to start a new job so yeah not good
so, so tired… no matter how much I sleep. I think I’m sick?
I had to deal with insurance BS for my bipolar medication and was off of them for three days. Wasn’t so great but I’m medicated again, thankfully. Waiting for when me and my gf can move in together; certain financial issues are holding us back but its nice getting to spend time with her on the weekends.
You reminded me that I forgot to take my meds when I woke up. I’m going to take them now.
Thank you for sharing!
Speaking of insurance bs I still haven’t dealt with the 700 I purportedly owe to an ambulance service for something back in January, ughhhhhh
I have nothing to report other than that I have the day off from work today, I am high, and having a great day. Hope things clear up for everyone soon, I’m keeping yall in my thoughts.
Seeing what folks have said, I kind of feel bad griping about my own issues, but as of now I have nobody else to really talk to (or at least that’s the way it feels), so here goes:
- Work has been up and down. It has been super stressful and intense at times - especially on Mondays, and then calms down as the week goes on. It doesn’t help that we have half our team members and next week our team lead is going on holiday. And next week is going to be the start of support, where I’ll need to be available 24/7 (it’s a thing, and apparently it pays super well and also can help for a promotion)
- I bought a house in March and things are still ongoing from the sellers side despite being virtually done on my side. This wouldn’t be so stressful had it not been for the fact that I have a mortgage offer that will expire at the end of October, and given how the seller wants 4 weeks to paint their new house before I get the keys(!!!) that means I’ll need to factor the 4 weeks into the expiry and eventually consider putting my foot down and pulling out (which I don’t want to do, but interest rates have drastically changed in the UK, so I’m unlikely to have an extension or the same offer again)
- A few weeks ago I got shingles, and I had medicine for that (stress from house and work). Went over to my sisters and she started talking to me about the foot fungus she saw on my feet as well as fungal infection behind my ear. The behind-the-ear requires a shampoo, so that’s simple. The toenail fungal infection requires toenail clippings as well as blood test to check my liver. Yesterday the results came back slightly borderline for my kidneys, so I’m going to have to repeat the results (also I have to avoid alcohol and eat more fruit). At this point I can’t help but feel like my body is a Rube Goldberg machine and while it’s nice that my sister is spotting these issues, it just makes me feel slightly depressed about my body.
- The weather in the UK as well as the health issues has left me a bit house bound, and more importantly, I feel incredibly lonely.
But on the plus side:
- I have a very, very well paid job that seems to actually compensate me for the effort I put in - much, much more than my last job
- I have a genuinely very caring family that wants the best for me
- I’m lucky to live in a time when I can just write this post and several strangers will see it, even if they don’t respond. In some ways, the loneliness is much more in my head
- I already ate 3 bits of fruit yesterday and I had one before my dinner (this is actually quite a big deal for me) :D
- I’m self aware enough to spot when I’m catastrophising and (hopefully) I can make an active effort to nip it in the bud. Sometimes its easy, and other times it’s mentally exhausting.
- I’m sure there are others out there who are doing much worse with taking care of their bodies than me.
- I am not depressed yet. I may have bouts of anxiety through the day, but I think this is manageable.
Your difficulties are real, valid, and not relative to any other person’s. It’s okay to have them and discuss them.
Keep watching your own brain when you can; you cannot be successful every time but you improve your brain hygiene a little bit each time you do. Sometimes you’ll have to let it happen for bit of time while you regain enough energy to stop catastrophising and that’s okay too. The exhaustion you get from stopping it just means you’re doing good work.
So I have phenylketonuria, and a big part of this is being in tune with my brain and my mental/emotional/physical well-being as to try and gauge when my phenylalanine levels are high.
Since I’ve had my phenylalanine levels so low, I was able to correctly find out my levels were high.
As to catastrophising, unfortunately that is a symptom of high phe levels. I’ve been working on lowering my phe levels, and today was the first day I didn’t feel any anxiety or catastrophe despite starting something 24h support at work today for a week.
I totally hear you on the fruit thing. I wish I was better at stopping the catastrophising.
I feel a lot better today. I think part of it is writing things out and actually visualising my situation. I think another part was your reply, which helped me feel seen, so thank you.
