As I was growing up, my family had a couple of sayings I took for granted were universal, at least within my language. As I became an adult I have learned that these are not universal at all:
- the ketchup effect. It is an expression meaning that when things arrive, they all arrive at the same time. Think of an old school glass ketchup bottle. When you hit the bottom of it, first there is nothing, then there is nothing and then the entire content is on your food.
- faster than Jesus slid down the mount of olives. Basically a saying that implies that the mount of olives is slippery due to olive oil and Jesus slipped.
- What you lack in memory, your legs suffer. An expression meaning that when you are forgetful, you usually need to run back and thus your legs suffer.
Please share your own weird family sayings.
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The ketchup effect and the suffering legs are pretty common here and I have heard many use it. Especially the one with the legs is more or less a cliche by now.
The one with the sliding Jesus i have v never heard before!
Man the ones I grew up with were far far far more racist than the ones yall had.
“Don’t yuk somebody else’s yum.”
My family never said that, but I’ve heard a lot of the native English speakers say that.
peak late 90s/early 00s internet there.
We have your last example in Croatia, usually told as: “they who don’t have it in the head, have it in the legs”
Same in Germany
I’ve heard this in Greece as well.
In France too, “quand on n’a pas de tête on a des jambes”.
Fritzlehoffers. As a general term for anything you either don’t know the name of or cant remember. Hand me the fritzlehoffers next to you please.
Not a family saying, but my grandad used this joke soooo often:
Q: What’s the difference between a snake in the grass and a goose?
A: A snake in the grass is an asp in the grass, but a grasp in the ass is a goose!
My folks liked to purposefully mix metaphors, so instead of saying “The worm has turned”, they’d say, “The shoe has turned” and “The worm is on the other foot”.
I’m sure there’s an origin somewhere, but since I don’t know it, the call-out for doing something particularly dumb was, “Why don’t you just ram your face into my fist?” (suggesting your stupidity was impressive, but not worth the actual bother of ‘punishing’ you for it, especially given you were probably stupid enough to punish yourself).
Mixed metaphor dad jokes are classic, I really enjoy them.
I guess we gotta burn that bridge when we come to it.
Does the Pope shit in the woods!?!
70’s kid my Dad says “wadda want eggs in your milk?” (still to this day)
always said if you “upscale” something.
Me: Dad I need shoes Dad: ok we will get some. Me: how about those Adidas like Run DMC Dad: Wadda want eggs in your milk toofunny thing is as dumb as the saying is. My oldest child used it the other day when a person was trying to merge in front of him
DEGUSTIBUSNONESTDISPUTANDUM
not sure I spelled it right, means “regarding personal tastes, there is no dispute”
Also another good one, “moderation in everything, including moderation.”
We quoted Oscar Wilde around our house quite a bit. Glad someone else out there was too!
I think the full phrase is De gustibus non disputandum in contradictorium (declinations might be off somewhere)
I always say “moderation in everything, including moderation” often as well
My mom often used two:
“Useless as tits on a bull” (often referencing her husband, my dad)
And also, “shit fire and save matches”, which I never understood to actually have a meaning, it was more like just an exclamation of surprise.
shit fire and save matches
If a frog had wings it wouldn’t bump it’s ass when it jumped.
I’ve heard these used when someone says something nonsensical, just as a completely worthless reply.
Worst case Ontario!
My dad used the shit fire expression. I also don’t know of an actual meaning.
to be fair if you could shit fire that you would save a lot of matches.
the former is a common, universal phrase.
“like tits on a bull” as a slightly shorter version.
“Does a hawks arse pucker in a power dive?” When someone asked a question that had an unequivocal answer of yes. Similar to does a bear shit in the woods,
Slickern owlshit
“That’s the cock for Dolly!” - Finally got that working.
My Grandmother used to say “It’s better than a kick in the teeth” when deflecting disappointment in an outcome–putting a positive spin on a negative. Being from the UK it seemed universal, but moving to Canada and saying that, people gave me odd looks.
The other one is when somebody is talking nonsense or a bit crazy, they would say “They are out of their tree”. For the Welsh the tree symbolizes stability and mental wellness (druids I guess) and if you were stressed or needed to chill their phrase translates to “I need to go back to my trees”
I used to hear ‘better than a poke in the eye with a blunt stick’
Whatever the fuck that means
We had better than a poke in the eye with a wet banana.
I always just hear “better than a poke in the eye”, not the whole stick thing.
My family’s was “beats a sharp stick in the eye.”
No one, I think, is in my tree.
I mean, it must be high or low.
I’ve (also Canadian) heard it as “better than a kick in the pants”
Or “better than a boot to the head”, wayyyy before those kids started singing about it … in the hall. The kids in the hall.
I’m from the US and “better than a kick in the teeth” and “better than a poke in the eye” are both common around my area. Never heard the tree ones though.
You better finish your dinner, don’t you know there are starving children in Africa?
Were you born in the 1970s? Both me and my wife heard that exact same sentence from our mothers.
Yup. We also might come from the “step on a crack, break your mother’s back” generation?
We have a similar saying in my family, but it translates into break one generation at a time, meaning you allow the kids to be lazy while the parents work themselves to death. It is usually used as a dig when someone younger is lazy.
that persisted well into the 90s at least
Turns out that one was actually universal.
I guess so!
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