I’ve become the tech guy, and family are extremely entitled to my services. My mom especially. BTW I can’t cut her out, because I still live with her and she EXPECTS me to fix anything computer related. She won’t take no for an answer.
I’ve tried to keep track of her passwords with a password manager, I’ve spent literally 8 hours in a single day filling out captchas and replacing passwords, and I’ve spent even more time trying to teach my mom how to use the manager.
She CAN’T learn it, and always makes a new password, which she doesnt keep track of and expects me to fix it. What the hell do it do? She uses firefox, with auto refill on, but it doesn’t autofill on her iphone.
You can use Bitwarden as the native password manager on an iPhone. And that can sync to the desktop version. I have all my passwords in one place. And on the iPhone since it’s the system password manager it works with apps too.
Alternatively, get her a small notebook, write things down and tell her to use that.
I’ve had good luck getting people into using bitwarden and appreciating it. Def recommend trying to get her on it, as long as she can remember her master password to access the rest
doesn’t need to remember the master password if you set up an unlock PIN. Actually I think maybe it’s a bad idea to let them remember the master password, because they may just type it in everywhere expecting it to work…
I forgot about the pin. Mine almost never asks me for mine, it always wants the master password when auto filling, but that’s likely bc of something in my settings.
the pin is a per-device thing, you need to set it up first to use it
I think I just needed to reset it, I recall accidentally hitting No on the prompt after setting the PIN initially and not having a way to go back and choose Yes to unlock with the PIN. Reset the PIN and got to say Yes on that prompt this time
I tried using Bitwarden for my mom, but it was too complicated.
Make a document with all of the passwords and save it to her desktop. Print it, too, and leave it in a drawer.
OP says part of their problem is that their mom wants to access the passwords from her phone.
Sounds like mom can’t fuck with inputting passwords at all.
Yep. She CANNOT copy and paste. I’ve tried to teach her, long hold and tap copy, hold and tap paste, but it just doesn’t click.
She wants you to be her bitch. If she could she’d make you take a shit for her.
Old people aren’t stupid. Somehow they got that old. “Can’t” nah, “won’t”.
Here’s to wishing Webauthn will suddenly take off.
won’t fix the problem.
won’t fix the problem.
Why not? Maybe because I’m in the Apple walled garden I’ve been spoiled, but it’s literally just scan face/finger (depending on device) and go on. It’s dead simple, and if websites would stop prompting for a username/password beforehand that would be even better.
Because webauthn does not give anything that a proper password manager couldn’t automate anyway
Get a Pixel?
honestly, with that level of carelessness or stupidity they really shouldn’t use a smartphone
honestly, with that level of carelessness or stupidity they really shouldn’t use a smartphone
I had a stepbrother who killed the internet for 2 weeks to make sure that it help came only outside of our family.
Tip I can give, give her multiple options and say this is the best you can do. Even though you might know better options, letting someone pick it themselves gives them some ownership of it at least
Take the phone and “work” on it for a few hours, hand it back still not working.
“I don’t know, we tried this before and just can’t get it to work again.”
My family used to both say I was the nerd and can and need to fix all their shit, AND anytime anything went wrong it MUST be my fault since I’m the one “tinkering” with and fixing their shit.
This is a minor part of a huge amount of reasons I worked my ass off to get fully independent and no contact with my family anymore.
Ugh I hate whenever something goes wrong the blame is always placed on the last guy who worked on it. If you ever build a PC for someone, you better believe you are gonna be tech support for that thing FOREVER.
I’d understand if you had issues immediately, or days after, but if its been weeks, months or even years? Gtfo. Thats longer than most free warranties.
Use something that has solid iPhone support. Bitwarden has integration with iPhone to replace the built in password manager. That’s what I do. It
Then on desktop, I use the bitwarden plugin for safari, Firefox, and chrome.
It even works for passkeys and syncs them between devices. Even between iPhone and desktop. It intercepts the iPhone passkey manager.
Then it even works for her apps on iPhone.
Seriously, it’s a very seamless, elegant solution.
I have my 80+ year old mom using Bitwarden. She has some issues creating new logins but for the most part it is working great on her desktop and her iPhone.
I have her pointed at my own Vaultwarden server and I know her master password if I really need to get in.
Yeah. Everytime I’m for a visit, I have to show my mom again how to copy/paste things, access files on her USB drive, where to click to do an update,…
But she loves Bitwarden. Has been app consistent in using random passwords for logins, both on desktop and mobile.
My mom is great at using the edit menu to copy and paste but I fear trying to get her to right click. What she does now works, so don’t mess with it.
I set up LastPass for my parents but they refuse to use it. My mom got locked out of her Facebook account and can’t regain access because she doesn’t know the password, doesn’t know the email it was registered with, and her phone died so she can’t prove any prior access. Too bad so sad. Still won’t use LastPass.
Locked out of Facebook sounds like it did her a favor
Get a blank notebook with alphabetic tabs and write all her passwords in there. Label it “crochet projects” or something. A non-techy friend of mine does that. At first I was horrified but it’s a lot safer for her than post-it notes on the monitor.
It’s also, in some ways, safer than some centralized password managers.
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Maybe try a different password manager and see if its interface is easier for her to use? There are lots of options, not all of them FOSS but this might be a time to accept a well-regarded commercial solution. Or, since she has the iPhone, try using their password solution. They integrate that pretty thoroughly in their apps and OS, and I think with this year’s OS releases across the board they have turned it into more of a fully-fledged password manager with its own apps. I know very little about it, but there might be a way to integrate it with Firefox on desktop now.
Chrome Password Manager is easily the most intuitive I’ve found. Tons of people use it without even realising it exists. Auto synced via Google account on android and you don’t have to worry about it. Idk if she uses iOS what would be comparable.
Would she use one of those little password-keeper books? It’s not as secure as a password manager, but it might help get her self-sufficient.
You could start not knowing how to do things, give slower answers, just give bad customer service. Or ask her if whatever she’s trying to do can wait until she gets home to get computer.
I know the feeling of wanting to help, it’s part of why I became a librarian. I also know the pain of old folks coming in and asking the same questions. I had one lady, really sweet, that would come in and ask for the phone numbers to maybe 3 businesses a day. Like, we’d show her how to look it up, we’d walk her through it on a public terminal, she’d still ask us again the next day. It gets frustrating and you pick your battles.
At least I could go home after a shift and stop being the tech-knower. It doesn’t sound like you get to and that sucks.
Only option really is to show her how to reset her password. Sounds like she’s already doing it, just tell her that’s how you log in, you let it autofill, and if it doesn’t work you click forgot password and check your email and that’s how passwords work now
I use vaultwarden, and I stumbled upon the generated password history. It’s awesome.
Maybe just tell your mom that since she had changed her password, there is a 30 minutes delay before she can login.
Maybe if there are consequences things will change?
