THIS IS AMERICA, GOD DAMMIT, THE LIBERAL MARXIST GLOBALISTS ARE TRYING TO CONTROL HOW I EAT MY FOOD, GO TO HELL YOU COMMIE BASTARDS
Well, I wasn’t going to before, but now I am wondering what hidden secrets they are keeping from us??
Fuckin’ big pharma. I ain’t sticking Pfizer’s goddamn wantons up there, I’m sticking with PF Changs just like my paw-pee and his pee-paw before 'em.
Use summer rolls instead. They’re usually bigger anyway.
Thank god I’m not a patient then ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
For now
My body, my choice.
Doctor: can you at least wait a few seconds after you take them out of the deep fryer next time?
Hey it’s Cheryl or Charlene or Carina or whatever…
It’s CRYS-TAL!
Chaotic Good Karen.
It’s the fried ones that are the problem: crispy = sharp edges = torn bowel = septic shock = dead.
The fresh ones with the squishy exterior should feel much more like a penis going into your ass. Choose the sauce carefully - your entire GI tract has receptors sensitive to spiciness.
If you want to push the spicy level but not have a visit from Satan’s eyeball, they make this great barrier ointment called Ilex. Just, uh, you have to be careful not to glue your butt cheeks closed to most folk put some Vaseline on afters. Who knows, maybe they’ve fixed that but i last used it regularly when I wanted to belong to the nuclear taco club but couldn’t get Thursdays off, it’s been a minute.
First they invented great barrier reef, now they make great barrier ointment. My God what horrors and highlights, the hubris of humankind.
Well excuse me for being a good host during my digital rectal exam.
He didn’t complain about the tea kettle at least, that’s just being hospitable
FLARED. BASE.
Hindsight is always 20/20.
I have so many questions about the train of thought that led to this… situation.
I reckon a friend of theirs was looking for something real hard.
I know right?! You could fit your entire wallet in there, and they’d never guess the password!
Don’t ask how I know this, I don’t have any trucknuts…
Sunglasses? Really? Didn’t have any better objects? C’mon.
“RFK questions guidance on not putting spring rolls up your anus.”
Is that him or the worm talking?
Maybe the worm likes spring rolls.
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First they told us not to eat the yellow snow, now they’re telling us not to stick spring rolls up our poop chutes. It’s like doctors don’t want us to find any joy in our lives.
Literally 1984
DO NOT SHOVE SPRINGROLLS UP YOUR ASS
Don’t shove spring rolls up your ass, shove autumn wraps into the digestive system in reverse. :)
The surveillance is a bit anal.
I missed that page.
just gonna leave this here https://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/uk-news/doctors-warning-people-not-insert-17802129
“I can almost recognize my bottom again” is an all time quote
“Breaking news”
