Buy lifelong supply of wine corks.
without a base without a trace
just get yourself a lifetime supply of buttplugs like a responsible adult
What I can’t see can’t hurt me
Rapidly dig a small hole in the ground and resolve to place a donkey in it. This is now my “ass hole”
Then run away as fast as possible to survive the impending insect plague
I’ve seen so many of these, I forgot what the guy actually looks like
I remember him looking basically like an IASIP character who might try to turn Mac straight and ruin his marriage in the attempt
First, I save this meme to my phone.
Second, I attempt to legally enter the US.
Third, I have all my rights revoked and get kidnapped by ICE.
Fourth, I wait and watch as the insects all get eaten before they can get to me.
See, being detained by Trump and his lizard people doesn’t have to be all bad.
butt plug
Mom please
mommy? is that you?
are you my mommy?
Butt plug
E-stim version doubles as a bug zapper
do you really need the threat of butthole bugs to wear a butt plug though?
Glue a gecko to my taint?
What part of the gecko are gonna glue to that dainty taint?
Immediately kill myself as quick as possible. That’s genuinely one of my worst fears is being entered by a bug. I have an obsessive habit of wiping the inside/underneath the lip of the toilet every time I use it just in case there could be a spider. There has never been a spider. Yet I’m compelled to do it every single time.
Lucky you, I just imagine one of those hawaiian centipedes snuggly chilling there and looking for a home
Charge them rent and use that money to buy a social media company.
Get an only fans page and cash in on people’s weird fetishes.
Try not to finish too quickly
People like you are what makes the world a unique and beautiful place.
I think your username is more appropriate here
Formiphilia is like the worst fetish…🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮
Start by switching from boxers to briefs.
Fight back. Eat chili.
Station my chameleon by my booty and prepare to shoot myself in the face.
Imagine every insect that can walk, crawl, or fly bombarding your dwelling. Fuck it, throw arachnids in there as well. They will find a way in, you will be covered head-to-toe in swarming insects of 1,000 varieties.
Depending on where you live, you got a hour, maybe a whole day. But they’ll eventually break the windows and doors. At that time, your ass will belong to them.
In other news, I’m considering a new horror short.
A great deal of what we’d call insects outside of the scientific community are so small you can either barely see them or can’t see them at all unaided. The larger bugs would be getting sloppy seconds.
