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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: July 22nd, 2023

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  • My brain can’t handle more than a dozen open tabs. If I need more than 8 or so, I’ll sling some in another browser instance. I honestly don’t know if this is because I’m dumb or smart, but at my last jobs the smarter people always had about 2 dozen tabs open. LOL, no one ever rebooted.



  • @shalafi@lemmy.worldtoMemes@sopuli.xyzsuckcess
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    611 hours ago

    Y’all should employ my “Hawkeye Pierce Theory of Work”. You bust your ass right off the bat, get really good and knowledgeable, get recognized as such. At worst, you get a lateral promotion doing something you would rather be doing, or gain the juice to do what you want to do and leave the lazy people to do the crappy parts of the job. In any case, they dare not get rid of you.

    If that doesn’t work you a) are not the top employee you think you are or b) need to get another job. I turned down a job that’s considered pretty good around here by our biggest employer. They made it damned clear I wasn’t going anywhere or doing anything else for at least a year. Nope.


  • Been a functioning alcoholic my whole adult life. Got my first bad test for liver enzymes. Looked the numbers up, holy shit that’s fucking off the scale! Quit kratom powder for 2 weeks, keep drinking as normal, perfect retest.

    Doc: “I’m so proud of you!” Uh…?

    Another anecdote: Good friend crashed her liver with Tylenol. This was before it was widely known to fucking kill you. Hardcore alcoholic. 90-proof generic vodka, hiding bottles kinda alki. She got a transplant after being in a coma for 2-months, poster child for success! Doctors wanted her to speak at medical events as to how she no longer needed anti-rejection drugs after only 18-months. Imagine that!

    Surgeon to family: “Believe it or not, her alcoholism had nothing to do with her liver failure.”

    All that to say, yeah, other factors we didn’t evolve for can kill your liver. We been drinking for 10,000 years, the weak livers are largely weeded out.

    Let’s hear from Kurt Vonnegut!

    “Beer, of course, is actually a depressant, but poor people will never stop hoping otherwise.” I feel personally attacked. :(

    Anyway, Julie got run over by a random dude while crossing the corner with her husband, my best friend. So it goes.



  • ^ Channeling Slaughter House 5

    American planes, full of holes and wounded men and corpses took off backwards from an airfield in England. Over France a few German fighter plans flew at them backwards, sucked bullets and shell fragments from some of the planes and crewmen. They did the same for wrecked American bombers on the ground, and those planes flew up backwards to join the formation.

    The formation flew backwards over a German city that was in flames. The bombers opened their bomb bay doors, exerted a miraculous magnetism which shrunk the fires, gathered them into cylindrical steel containers, and lifted the containers into the bellies of the planes. The containers were stored neatly in racks. The Germans below had miraculous devices of their own, which were long steel tubes. They used them to suck more fragments from the crewmen and planes. But there were still a few wounded Americans, though, and some of the bombers were in bad repair. Over France, though, German fighters came up again, made everything and everybody good as new.

    When the bombers got back to their base, the steel cylinders were taken from the racks and shipped back to the United States of America, where factories were operating night and day, dismantling the cylinders, separating the dangerous contents into minerals. Touchingly, it was mainly women who did this work. The minerals were then shipped to specialists in remote areas. It was their business to put them into the ground, to hide them cleverly so they would never hurt anybody ever again.