For me, I think it was when I was playing in the yard, and saw one of my mom’s pots of dirt for her garden, and I thought “yeah this would be good to dump on my lap”
It was full of fire ants. Big, angry, north carolinian fire ants.
I was covered in red welts and all I remember is screaming at the top of my lungs while my mom sprayed me down with a hose
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physically or emotionally?
Parents told me I’m the cause of all their problems.
Tried to stop a garage door of close up and broke my arm.
I placed my entire hand on a hot iron. For more than a few seconds - super dumb and ignorant.
Ended up having my entire hand wrapped in bamdages.
Take your pick:
3 years old I took a corner to fast at Mervins and almost took out my right eye on a glass shelf, 2 stitches.
6 years old I tried to do a backwards wheelie on my bike by jamming my foot in the front fork… while going down hill and carrying a load of oranges in my shirt. Went right over the handlebars, came to a stop on my chin. 13 stitches.
[…] I really wanted a broken arm, so people could sign my cast, but I never quite managed to break anything.
Made an awkward turn while playing and had a knee subluxation. Brief agony until I “popped” it back in and insisted I was fine. Limped around for the rest of the day, hurt for the rest of the week. For several years after, it would randomly happen again, though less severe, quicker to recover, and less frequent between incidents. Didn’t bother to get it checked out since I heard any significant knee surgery would take me out of commission for some months. I’m still not sure if I’m completely over it yet. God forbid it happens to me on the stairs
Climbed a tree, tried to jump to the next tree. Failed. Fortunately, I snagged a wasp nest on the way down. Nothing broken, anaphylaxis. Not breathing sucks. (I lived.)
wasp nest on a tree??
no, please rather don’t respond, especially not with an image, I don’t want to see it!
(I lived.)
Phew Thank you for that closure.
The worst was probably splintering my tailbone. Apparently I have oddly dense bones, so they don’t like to full out break, but just splinter.
I was snowboarding and trying to keep up with my mom. At the very very end of the run, I snagged my back edge and got slapped so hard to the ground, I’m pretty sure I blacked out for a few seconds (wear a helmet, kids). We rode the rest of the day and I don’t remember much about it all except my butt hurt so bad. I couldn’t sit down normally for over a year. I sat on my knees or in a snow tube in the living room because I couldn’t stand to sit on the couch or in a chair at all.
A separate incident that might also tie for worst, but I think I fractured my skull when I was around 8? It could just be one of the growth plates, but I have a scar in my skin, and then a serious dent in my forehead in the skull which is attached to a long crack that goes down to my eyebrow before I’m not able to feel it anymore. We didn’t go to the hospital or anything, I just dealt with the swelling and the small split. I did dent the corner beam in our house though. Thick skull I guess?
I dented my forehead as a kid on a coffee table at my grandma’s house.
I was jumping on the couch from cushion to cushion and slipped head first into the edge of the table. Don’t remember much afterwards except for no hospital. My dad told me years later “yeah, that probably needed stitches, but I didn’t want you to be scared…”
That’s the one benefit of today’s IKEA furniture: it disintegrates on heavy contact; furniture from the 70’s was made from steel reinforced hardwood – that table could have held up a truck.
Bike riding in the 80s and jumping ramps, the slope was too high and sent the bike upward so I let go (bad plan) and supermanned myself across the pavement on my chest. I had vertical road rash stripes all down my front.
Got hit by a car. Blacked out. I have some scars on my face from being pushed into the road.
My childhood buddy lost half his teeth that way.
did you also break your jaw, and lose almost 25lbs over 3.5 weeks?
that was a fun may 2025… wear full-face helmets y’all. they’d save you so much pain and suffering from not being able to eat.
Nope. Other than a concussion and some face damage nothing came of it. The driver was a teenager just learning how to drive.
Lmao I bet that scared him into being a little more careful after that
good to hear. nobody should have to go thru 3.5 weeks of being unable to eat solid food.
I never, EVER want to see a smoothie, or shake, or blended soup, ever again.
I went camping with my family, was probably seven or eight years old. There was a sign right next to our camping spot to notify people about something not to do, who knows what the message was in reality but I like to imagine it as “do not bend this sign backwards to use it to catapult rocks you find laying around nearby”.
Anyway, while my parents were preoccupied with setting up our tent, my makeshift catapult hit me right by the eye. Thankfully it did not actually injure my eye itself, just huge cuts both above and below the eye, but I had a pretty good talent for screaming at that age regardless of which part of my body was hurting. I remember after an hour or something my parents kept pushing that all the other campers were going to think I was being abused, and then we packed up and left our week-long camping trip a couple hours after arriving.
Funnily enough, mine’s also garden-pot related. I was playing with my sister and our friend and I tripped over and faceplanted into a terracotta pot. It could’ve been a lot worse because there was a cactus in it, but even as it was I needed six stitches.
Not me obviously, but you should look up the accident Adam Devine had as a kid. Pretty serious, but it is hilarious how he talks about it. His leg is so crazy knarley
Here’s a clip of him discussing it on Conan. Crazy story
I stepped off a one foot tall wall and fractured one of my foot bones
Tripped and fell while playing basketball on a rough asphalt court skid like 3 ft on my face scrapped and peeled 80% of my face and got grains of asphalt stuck in my face. To the point they couldn’t get them all out and took a chunk out of my nose.
