• @[email protected]
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    1085 days ago

    Stupid Linux Guy doesn’t realize that by installing Linux, you install even more daemons on your machine!

  • Case
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    43 days ago

    Ok, but imaging playing one of the new Doom games with that set up:

    Action starts to get intense.

    The tension, and temperature rises.

    Suddenly, a whisper at the back of your mind “hail satan hail satan hail satan”

    As more enemies appear, and the temperature rises, it becomes louder, pulsing in your ears. Somehow a whisper that is now shouting.

    As you cleanse the demonic filth, the chanting subsides and stops, bringing a measure of peace, at least for the moment.

  • @[email protected]
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    144 days ago

    The demon is Bill Gates fueled with the tormented souls of Microsoft employees that just got layed off. The solution is to print out a few Arch wiki pages and a usb stick (with Arch) and say “the power of Torvalds compels you” until the PC is once again pure. Than keep your PC pure by avoiding absolutely proprietary software and always praying to Tux for more features.

    • @[email protected]
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      665 days ago
      demonctl stop hellfire
      demonctl disable hellfire
      demonctl enable regular-fire
      demonctl start regular-fire
      
      demonctl set --force body-type=human horns=2 eyes=2 tongue=forked skin=red
      demonctl add --object electric-guitar
      demonctl speak "play the best song in the world, or I'll eat your souls"
      
        • B-TR3E
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          55 days ago

          Not as funny as it seems - the error message “lp is on fire” really exists. Originally these bulky old tractor-fed matrix printers got really hot and would catch fire. That’s history, but in the early 2000s I experienced a 1990s SUN laser printer that had similar ambitions. Luckily it usually would blow some fuses before it got hot enough.

    • tgirlschierke
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      14 days ago

      I’m sure you have no ulterior motives on this subject, maxwells_daemon.

  • @[email protected]
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    305 days ago

    I just pictured someone throwing pages from the manual on it going “THE POWER OF LINUS COMPELS YOU!” Yeah. I’ll see myself out.

    • @[email protected]
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      95 days ago

      In the package, there will be a large square of herb-scented paper. This is the entire code for VüDü. Fold this paper into an origami shape resembling the animal you’re installing VüDü on (see also Appendix II). There are folding directions for common animals in the box. Make a hollow inside your paper badger and add a little more blood and hair from your animal.

      Don’t lose the paper; replacements are expensive. There are recipes for homemade paper on the Web, but getting all the information correctly transcribed is a huge task, as this must be handwritten; furthermore, the requirements of herb collecting, drying, and curing are formidable.

      Some man pages are more suitable than others.