When you’re rocking them to sleep, watching the eyelids slowly close, then BAM 👀
100 of their breaths, uninterrupted by any movement, change or disturbance of any kind. That was my hard learned rule.
Absolutely terrifying putting down a light sleeper. Terrifying. 😭
Not fragile like a flower.
Fragile like a bomb.
- Frida Kahlo
My oldest was terrible as a baby. I finally understood why people shake their babies to death. Sleep deprivation is used as torture for a reason.
So much this. Nothing enrages me or cuts short my fuse as much as depriving me of sleep. A tip for new parents: a crying baby is a live baby; walk away and let them cry if you need a reset.
As a non parent, do they explode?
In a manner of speaking.
sometimes when you go to put them down they can get startled awake, and what happens after that definitely gives off the explosion vibes.
You even get the “seeing the explosion before you hear it”, effect cause they get the frozen crying face for a few seconds before the wails kick in.
The initial sound of a baby crying in the middle of the night when you’re already exhausted triggered something that felt like an electric jolt through my brain.
Yes, mostly from one end, but sometimes both.
Often
With my worst napper I worked out the trick of getting them to fall asleep on my shoulder, then a slow smooth tilt forward down to the crib mattress.
My arm is too big, every time I put mine down I have to figure out how to extricate my big ol’ ham hawks from beneath the baby lest their head fall five feet to the mattress.
Not a smooth enough motion and… KABOOM
Man, got lucky with mine. Both of those animals slept anywhere, anytime. And it’s not like my ex took all the heat, we tagged teamed them bitches. “fine… my turn…”
Secret sauce: If they can only fall asleep, and stay asleep, in perfect darkness and quiet, you’re raising a hellion. So raise a little hell!
Not one of those, “Meh, let 'em cry.” parents. Now you’re raising insecure teenage hellions. No. But stop pussy footing around. Your ancestors fucked in the same bed as the kids, they’ll be alright if the TV is a little loud.
