OK, slightly misleading / over-simplified title (sorry), but I hear practically universal negativity about dilation after a full-depth vaginoplasty, and I wanted to complicate the narrative a little, at least indicate your experiences may vary even in positive ways!

I’m only around 4 weeks post-op, but so far I’ve been surprised by my experiences with dilation.

I expected it to be painful and awful: you are sticking a very hard rod into a cavity that is bleeding and sore and recently carved into a sensitive region of your body. How could that ever be comfortable? And yet, I was shocked at how not only was it not generally painful, it was actually at times quite pleasant.

Not to sugar-coat it, there absolutely can be pain and discomfort, especially when working up to larger sizes. But in a way this is a kind of challenge to go slow and work with your body, and it leads me to practices that can be enjoyable in their own ways. Dilation demands quieting the mind and body, and spending time in a mental space that is quite relaxing. There aren’t many activities in my daily life that truly demand that level of mind-clearing and relaxation, and I started even looking forward to dilation in the first two weeks when I most relied on absolute calm and relaxation.

After the second week it became boring, waiting for the clock - but that too just became a challenge that was solved in ways that became enjoyment. Instead of waiting for a timer to go off and staring at a ceiling, I used the time to watch video essays and movies (even if segmented by the dilation schedule).

Another surprising aspect was the way that dilation actually became pleasurable itself. Again, I don’t want to mislead, the dilation is very not-sexy, you’re sticking a hard rod into a swollen cavity and holding it there. But, after a few weeks and as I worked up the Green and Orange sizes (1 3/8" and 1.5" respectively) I found in the last 5 minutes or so of my dilation my body became so relaxed that it started to feel really great to sort of push the dilator back and forth a little, massaging my prostate and even stimulating my clit through the canal. I had an orgasm by accident this morning from it (which is a mistake, it’s too early and this can compromise my healing).

Besides these benefits, I’ve also been surprised at how it doesn’t feel as much of a chore as I was told. It’s a little annoying to spend the time (I anticipate this will suck the more I recover and want to do other things with my day) but I sort of like the alone time. It also didn’t take as much time to dilate as expected. The second week post-op, I felt a bit confused by my experiences - I was able to dilate in under 30 minutes and was wondering why people talked so much about how dilation takes up their entire day.

So just know experiences can vary significantly - some people spend hours trying to get the dilator in and it can be exhausting and painful. But it can also be an enjoyable time, so it’s good to be prepared, but also be open to a wide range of possibilities!