• @[email protected]
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    54 days ago

    Bit of a difference between “mansplaining” and the other terms in that the other terms mention the target of the action, leaving the actor ambiguous. Anyone could be anti-semitic or bash gay people. Mansplaining is a term specifically coined to say that only men can perform condescending infodumps. What’s worse, nowadays it’s often used just for men explaining things they’re not sure if the other person knows. Some of us are also neurodivergent and have trouble picking up even fairly obvious social cues. I know it’s a problem for me with ADHD and I know there’s also “tism infodumps”. Both disorders affect women too (and ADHD in women is underdiagnosed), but I’ve never heard “womansplaining” used as a term, nor do I think it would be appropriate. It’d be a hella sexist term.

    I’m sure there’s quite a few men out there who legitimately are so condescending, they feel they have to explain basic things to “dumb women”. But I’m willing to bet most cases of “mansplaining” are some guy being an idiot and missing hints from the other party in the conversation, as well as just misjudging what is common knowledge and what isn’t.

    It doesn’t help that women are just more polite and more likely to let you finish talking even when they know everything lol

    • @[email protected]
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      84 days ago

      But I’m willing to bet most cases of “mansplaining” are some guy being an idiot and missing hints from the other party in the conversation, as well as just misjudging what is common knowledge and what isn’t.

      If you’re a man, who are you to invalidate the experiences of women like that?

      If someone overuses the term and accuses someone of mansplaining when that’s not what they’re doing, by all means call it out. I’ve been unfairly accused of mansplaining before. But that had nothing to do with the word itself and everything to do with the person who said it. Not having access to that word wouldn’t have made them more reasonable.

      Meanwhile the word describes an experience that you have never had, and you’re sitting here saying that most of the people who have had it actually haven’t. That’s kind of fucked up, dude. Take a step back.

      • @[email protected]
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        74 days ago

        The term literally is sexist because it implies it’s only bad when men do it. These days it’s used to describe any time a man explains anything. It’s lost any meaning it may have had originally.

        White knightism is sexism in its own right too, because it brings to the table the assumption that women are weaker and need protection, thus not equal to men,

        • @[email protected]
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          104 days ago

          Because you seem to have missed it:

          It’s describing something that is really happening.

          There is a systemic bias that exists where men treat women this way. It’s a problem that these women have to deal with. Trust in the experience of people who are actually in this situation instead of trying to invalidate them to feed your need to win arguments on the internet.

          • @[email protected]
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            74 days ago

            I never said it doesn’t happen. I said it’s overblown.

            Online, literally anything a man has ever said seems to be described as mansplaining now. Offline, I’ve barely heard anyone complain about it - only talking about car mechanics I believe. And I’ve got some people in my circles who are pretty vocal about gender dynamics issues.

          • @[email protected]
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            13 days ago

            Just because something happens doesn’t make it okay to generalize that behavior across an entire identity.

            “Mansplaining” is a pretty mild example but we can look at other more extreme ones. One of the most classic is racists who love to say “Do you know 50% of crime is committed by 13% of the population?”, and use that as justification to the idea that black people are inherently more likely to be criminals. And they may occasionally walk it back and try to say shit like “not you, you’re one of the good ones”.

            Or it’s like someone who feels as though they got taken advantage of in a business deal saying they got “jew’d”. And then trying to say “well no I’m not antisemitic, but I’ve personally seen and heard of Jews conducting business unfairly. And it’s common enough that the term has arisen, so it’s gotta be somewhat true. And if you are a Jew who conducts business fairly then I’m not talking about you”. If you encountered someone trying to say that, you would be quite correct to respond by saying “wow that’s actually really fucking antisemitic”. And this is the exact same thing you are trying to argue with the word “mansplaining”.

    • @[email protected]
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      44 days ago

      It doesn’t help that women are just more polite and more likely to let you finish talking even when they know everything lol

      I was agreeing with you sooo heavily until this last paragraph. This is a biased generalization of women, and arguably an implied contrast to men.

      • @[email protected]
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        54 days ago

        Maybe it’s just the people I know? Could even just be the upbringing in a formerly soviet nation, it used to be pretty socially conservative in many ways here. Younger people are starting to break out of that pattern luckily. All I know is, in my generation and older ones, on average, guys tend to be more loud and in your face, more likely to interrupt you while talking.