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“He’s running so slow…”
1 hour later
“How can he still be running like that?”
“I don’t know why they’re running, but let’s chase them!”
Maybe the hairless ape will throw a stick!
Whoever made this has never met a dog
Yeah, this post shows a tragic lack of familiarity with the concept of zoomies.
Jogging from the perspective of non-human animals
FTFY
🤓☝️
Yeah, some humans also wonder why jogging is a thing.
I know it’s a joke. But would a wolf consider a human an apex predator? What about bears? Do these animals fear humans? I can’t say I’m familiar with them. I figured they wouldn’t, in most circumstances. I would think their default stance towards us is that we’re their prey
We are certainly not their prey and without modern urban sprawl forcing animals into urbanized areas they would avoid humans as much as possible and this has been true for thousands of years.
Humans are the ones wielding fire after all.
The bears and coyotes around here hide from me! Even if I try and creep on 'em, they still usually sense me and run.
Maybe put your dick away then
Just giving the boys some air! Some animals are so damned judgemental.
“ah shit, it’s that weird human again. Better hide or it will get awkward”
Most animals know humans are too much trouble to mess with.
Sure, you can kill one human. But next thing you know your whole species has gone extinct, or worse, has been domesticated into pocket yappy dogs that can’t breathe properly.
In places where we’ve been around long enough staying away from humans has practically been bred into every surviving predator’s instincts by now (which is what makes polar bears so terrifying, they’re about the only dangerous predator that doesn’t have this instinct yet, and probably never will, now that murdering whole species has become a bit of a bad look); anything that considered us prey and didn’t learn not to simply doesn’t exist anymore.
Wolves in particular (in the few places where they survive) definitely know not to mess with us, except maybe in the frozen depths of Canada, and so do most bears (again, with possible exceptions in the least populated bits of North America) except polar ones.
Bears usually avoid humans, unless very hungry, because those who didn’t avoid us, didn’t tend to live very long.
One time, I was in the arctic doing some research. On a snowmobile, in winter, we crest a hill and see a couple of wolves pigging out on a caribou. I’m riding in the toboggan, and I start telling at the driver: “go go go!” They proceeded to chase our snowmobile for like a mile, with no hope at all of catching us, but running anyway. Like dogs chasing tires, I think they had no choice. Instincts are strong.
If an apex predator is running, maybe keep up.
I mean, the ability to run long distances without tiring is kind of what makes humans an apex predator. We can out-endurance just about every other creature. Most ancient human hunting techniques involved just wounding an animal, and then literally chasing it until it got too tired to keep going.
Wolves are very similar, which is what made us such natural hunting companions. The co-evolution of humans and dogs is an extremely interesting rabbit hole, if anyone is looking for one.
All that to say, the wolf would understand the need to run more than just about any other animal. A bear would work better here. A wolf would just see us running and think ‘game recognizes game’, just like they already did eons ago :3
I love this. Thank you
involved just wounding an animal
not even wounding. Just persistent tracking and following. Most prey animals can run away quickly, but need lots of rest.
Humans can just keep going. And going. And going. Until the prey just is too exhausted to run.
Got it.
I am prey.
It’s why the trope of an enemy that never stops/is endless is so terrifying, and thus common in media.
That’s why you can’t take your eyes off the snail!
That’s actually the decoy snail
Pay some college students to cast the snail in epoxy.
I guess the Energizer Bunny was an evolution that came about, due to humanity’s hunting style…
Yes, very true! I almost added that when writing my comment, but didn’t want to blather on too long in a comment about a meme haha
No, no I didn’t need that rabbit hole…
(spends the next hour reading about it)
That how traditional zombies hunt ppl. Slow and inevitable.
Let’s say it’s part of a mating ritual. I know this is not true, but I believe it gets the point across.
I say this to myself when I see people jogging and I really just want to yell “what are you running from!?”
They’re running from health problems
And other problems
Only to be tackled by a car crash at 47 yo.
tackled by a car crash
Not sure I’ve ever seen it phrased that way…
‘Looking like you fatass’
Other animals get zoomies too.
Jogging is practice for how humans killed pretty much all the megafauna in the world: exhaustion hunting.
Also fire probably. Lots and lots of fire
I think scaring them over Cliff sides came into okay as well, though you aren’t wrong.
Pointy sticks.
damn those pointy sticks said the animal
So apex that most of us outsource our hunting and farming, which makes us fat and slow unless we purposefully burn energy for no other purpose than to burn it.
I mean yes, literally… We were able to completely supplant the natural order. For better or worse.
So apex that even hunters need firearms because they’re too fat and slow to hunt without them nowadays, and unable to improvise and use self made weapons like the og hunters did.
I guess people that drive a forklift are “apex powerlifters” too.
Smart apex hunters always conserve as much energy as they can during a hunt. Because you don’t know when your next meal might show up. And firearms do make hunting a more sure thing. Hunting game, of any kind, is high risk-- higher reward effort. Most hunters go home empty handed or with little to show for the effort. But, if you do get it right, the effort can be handsomely rewarded.
So if you are smart enough to develop ranged weapons, you eagerly use them to hunt supper.
But could the average hunter still hunt without the help of modern technology? Those who are entirely unable to do so are obviously not apex predators.
A lion can hunt any day without relying on a rifle, the vast majority of hunters could not.
So if you are smart enough to develop ranged weapons
Hunters that can build their own bows or spears and are able to hunt with them are genuine apex predators, that’s fair.
Those who are completely reliant on industrially produced high tech firearms bought in a store, and would be outcompeted by any house cat without them, are not.
A lion can hunt because they come with weapons biologically attached. Humans not so much. And even you could fashion a spear with little effort. Which by your definition would make you a apex predator. And it did so for millennia.
I’m an old toolmaker that still has a small shop. I could make firearms from scratch if I wanted to. There is nothing special or complex about them. But I choose to purchase them from stores. So perhaps that demotes me from being a apex predator.
In order to make a firearm from scratch you must first create the universe.
In order to bake an apple pie you must also create the universe.
Seafood requires far less effort to collect. Make lobster traps and trotlines which are catching food while you can do other tasks at the same time. Seaweed for some veggies on the side.
Seafood requires a lot of expensive resources to acquire. Boats, nets, traps, baits, access to the water, and not to mention the inherent risk of being on the ocean. Better to hunt herbivores on land.
Sure you can spend a lot if you want, but I have caught crabs with a bit of string. Seen people catch stuff bare handed as well.
Fishing is fun and good, but you still need access to water with a fish living in it. But a sharp stick or a rock is still cheaper and easier. Even a bow and arrow is very low tech and easily fashioned.
Well I live on the coast in the UK, so there is quite a bit of access to water. But even inland you should have lakes/rivers with fish in them too, even if they can be a bit harder to catch.
Not sure there, most seafishing methods are illegal on freshwater here.
Dogs do love a good jog though. Give that good boi a bit of kibble and then see how he feels.
I mean, if animals engage in pretend fights and other forms of play, it seems that they can on some level grasp the idea of practicing or doing something for fun.
Run…for FUN? What the hell kind of fun is that?
I just want you to know, I know what you’re referencing
