I watched “Dr Bashir I presume” last night, and Quark offered Rom the holosuite program Vulcan Love Slave Part 2.

Why would you want a Vulcan to service you sexually? I mean, there’s a few fetishes that tie into that (bored and ignored, clinical… detachedness, rape?) but, seriously, in this context it doesn’t seem like a good fit.

How would it even go? “It would be logical for you to climax now😐” , “You created genetic material of a higher than average quantity for your species. This is impressive to me😐”. Hardly a fulfilling love affair to take your mind off that fun Dabo girl. I’m sure there are far more sultry aliens out there to fulfil your fantasies.

  • *dust.sys
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    296 days ago

    I always assumed it was a kind of oxymoron title. This Vulcan, unlike the others, is controlled by emotions - love in particular. Think of a woman who’s 3 times stronger than you and also obsessed with you, despite her entire upbringing and society telling her that it’s illogical.

    Now that’s a holosuite program I would run.

    • @[email protected]OP
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      6 days ago

      I always assumed it was a kind of oxymoron title. This Vulcan, unlike the others, is controlled by emotions - love in particular.

      You know what? That’s a really good way of thinking about it that I overlooked. Great theory!

      EDIT: Does that mean she doesn’t have that stupid haircut either?

      • *dust.sys
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        105 days ago

        Vulcan Love Slave is the Trek equivalent of Twilight.

        I will not be taking questions.

        • Tippon
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          55 days ago

          ‘But, but Spock, you’re sparkling!’

          • LousyCornMuffins
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            55 days ago

            “Kick him in the nards!”

            “he doesn’t got nards”

            “do it! Do it!”

            💥💥CRUNCH 💥💥

            “Jem’Hadar’s got nards!”

  • IninewCrow
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    45 days ago

    I never understood that sexual fantasy in Trek

    Vulcans may be sexually attractive but are the least sexual people in the whole Trek universe. A Vulcan love slave would be no more enjoyable than a lifeless silicon sex doll.

    • Tippon
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      65 days ago

      Ponn Farr. Accidentally lean on her hair and she’ll throw you through a wall

    • @[email protected]
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      24 days ago

      Except once they seven years when they become the most sexual beings in the trek universe.

      Myself, I’d go for an Orion mistress, but not everyone is into the green.

  • teft
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    176 days ago

    Strong lady who can pick me up with one hand and doesn’t need me to emotionally support her all the time? What’s not to love?

  • @[email protected]
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    6 days ago

    Maybe it’s more of an intellectual thing.

    But either way, humanity alone has enough kinks to begin with, so when you add in the preferences of all those other species, things are bound to get a little weird.

  • Nomecks
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    106 days ago

    Maybe it’s all Vulcans with unsuppressed emotions, and they’re absolutely wild.

  • @[email protected]
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    136 days ago

    Don’t yuck someone else’s yum. :D

    My read on that was forbidden fruit/fetishization of the typically unavailable.

    • @[email protected]OP
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      6 days ago

      It’s not yucking someone’s yum, it’s wanting to understand something that ironically seems illogical. Also to joke about how I imagine the work to be like.

  • @[email protected]
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    Not even mentioning their capability for emotions or spiritual bonding or magically pressing a button to make you feel a way… Vulcans are probably one of the more off-limits fantasies for many species. How often will people see an attractive Vulcan, and how many people actually have those feelings requitted by a Vulcan?

  • @[email protected]
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    86 days ago

    You must be staying in the shallow end of the internet. Love me to introduce you to a thing called “bitch-breaking.” It’s exactly as bad as it sounds. And no I’m not into it, I’ve just been in this slum since before the days of Something Awful and Encyclopedia Dramatica. I’ve seen things man.

    • @[email protected]OP
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      6 days ago

      I am impressed by the size of your lobes. They indicate you are virile and good at financial negociations.

      Having witnessed that you have an existing juvenile, it would be logical to attempt to mate with you. It has proven that you are biologically capable, and psychologically supportive of your offspring, and would do the same for my offspring.

      EDIT :

      While I agree with you that inter-species breeding is illogical, I am becoming closer to my Pon Farr state because of your presence, and would be open to mating with a Klingon.

      It is only logical that you left your juvenile on the Enterprise so you can try to mate with females without a distraction in your private quarters.

      EDIT 2 : Part of the limited vocabulary is to imitate their clinical speech.

  • HobbitFoot
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    35 days ago

    I feel like you’re looking at it from a personal point of view. What if, instead, the love slave focused on the act of love making being their calling to life.

    They are obsessed in getting to know you, have a great attention to detail, and will give up a lot for their career, which is making love to you. The Vulcan Love Slave is performing sexy science on you.

  • @[email protected]
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    135 days ago

    Vulcans are so passionate they developed their society around suppressing them, then they go into heat every 7 years. I always just assumed that Vulcan orgies were wild.